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Ain't No Kiddie Ride

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This article is about the episode. You may be looking for the song with the same name.
"Ain't No Kiddie Ride"
Candace on the kiddie ride
Candace freaks out while riding the boys' modified kiddie ride.
Season: 2
Production code: 225b
Broadcast number: 92
Story by:
Jennifer Keene
Martin Olson
Written & Storyboarded by:
Sherm Cohen
Chong Lee
Directed by:
Zac Moncrief
Broadcast Information
Disney Channel US Premiere:
April 16, 2010
Disney XD US Premiere:
February 20, 2010
International Debut:
April 29, 2010 (Disney Channel Latin America & Brazil)
See more...
Paired with
"Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers"
This better be worth a quarter.

— Buford Van Stomm

Phineas and Ferb decide to trick out the kiddie rides in front of the Tri-State Mart. Determined to bust them, Candace sits in a rocket ride so it can't go anywhere until Linda shows up. Needless to say, the ride shoots off and Candace ends up on a high-flying rocket across Danville. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz plans to leave behind a legacy by burning his name into the atmosphere using his "Ozone Deplete-Inator."

Episode Summary

Linda arrives with her children at the mall. Candace rushes in to purchase some high-gloss lipstick, while Phineas and Ferb pick out some back-to-school clothes, which are identical versions of the clothes they're already wearing. Linda gives them a pile of quarters so that they can play at the arcade, and heads off to find Candace.

As the boys walk off with their money, they spot a line of coin-operated kiddie rides, one of which is a red rocket that Phineas particularly loved when he was younger. He reminisces about him and Ferb flying around outer space on the rides, though his memories are a bit over-romanticized. He wants to make the rides live up to his memories, although a conveniently-timed repairman tells them to enjoy the rides while they can, because they're going to be trashed later.

Perry enters his lair through the arcade, where Baljeet and Buford can be seen playing Dance Dance Revolution, and receives his mission. Monogram feels disgusting, because he doesn't have any deodorant. Carl tells him he can't smell a thing because he was born without nostrils, which highly intrigues Monogram.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz walks to the diner near his home, but he can't pick up his sandwich order - whole wheat on rye - because the waitress keeps mispronouncing his name. He leaves angrily, vowing to make them remember his name. To that end, he bought up all the cans of aerosol deodorant, bug repellent, and hairspray in the Tri-State Area so that he could burn his name into the ozone layer.

Back at the mall, Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet join the boys as they unveil their souped-up kiddie rides. Buford, the self-proclaimed judge of the 'coolness' of the ride, hops into the red rocket, inserts a quarter, and shoots off into the atmosphere. As he touches back down to Earth, Candace comes rushing up to the group in anger. She sits in the red rocket ride, so that the evidence of the boys' activity would stay until their mother comes by. Buford slyly flips in a quarter in an effort to have a little fun at Candace's expense. She is then sent flying down the street. The kids then hop into an assortment of kiddie rides, which have also been tricked out by Phineas and Ferb, and fly after her as the song "Ain't No Kiddie Ride (song)" plays. As Candace flies through a barn, Baljeet's ride stops running, since his ride time had expired. He then spends the rest of the episode trying to get the machine to accept a dollar bill by smoothing it out.

When Candace reaches Danville Canyon, the rocket stops flying since her ride time has expired. She plummets to the bottom of the canyon, screaming that she hasn't got any money to re-fuel the ride. Ferb does a quick robot dance to get a quarter from some tourists. He then promptly shoots it into the rocket's coin acceptor, thereby saving Candace from crashing at the last possible second.

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz tries to crush Perry with a giant robotic hand, although he should be launching his aerosol-themed scheme. Candace ends up destroying the robotic hand with her red rocket. Perry takes the fallen arm and smacks Doofenshmirtz with it, knocking him into the aerosol cans and then into his slicked-up pitfall trap.

Finally, Isabella catches the rocket with a lasso, and the kids all return to the mall. Just then, the repairman comes back and hauls off the souped-up rides, replacing them with new rides that are identical to their predecessors. Candace comes back with her mom, though her busting plot is once again foiled as she rocks on the slow-moving kiddie ride. Baljeet finally gets his kiddie ride to accept the dollar bill by having it ironed, but both the ride and the ironing board shoot off down the street, causing him to become thoroughly frustrated.


For a full transcript of "Ain't No Kiddie Ride", click here.


End Credits

A replay of Ain't No Kiddie Ride (song)


Ain't No Kiddie Ride title card
The image gallery for "Ain't No Kiddie Ride" may be viewed here.

Running Gags

I know what we're gonna do today!/Hey, where's Perry?

Phineas: But I'll bet with a little effort and some unstable uranium isotopes, we could make them that much fun. Ferb, I know what we're gonna-- Hey, where's Perry?

The "Too Young" Line

Linda: Aren't you a little old for kiddie rides?
Candace: No, no I'm not. Check it out.

Ferb's Line


What'cha doin'?

Phineas: All done.

Isabella: Hey, Phineas. What'cha doin'?
Phineas: Oh, hey Isabella.
Buford: Hey losers.
Phineas: Oh, hey guys.
Buford: Don't tell me that your playing with that lame kiddie ride?
Phineas: We tricked it out, and now it's pretty awesome.

Buford: I'll be the judge of that, step aside.

Oh, there you are, Perry

Candace: You guys are gonna be so busted when I show Mom what you did to those rides.

(Perry chatters)

Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.

Perry's entrance to his lair

Perry drives a racing video game into his lair.

Evil Jingle

Doofenshmirtz walks to the diner!

Memorable Quotes

Linda: I want you to pick up some nice back-to-school clothes. they walk into the store and come right back out

Wow. That was fast.
Phineas: Well, we do have a signature look.
Phineas pulls out Ferb's outfit from his bag and Ferb pulls out Phineas's. They look at each other and switch outfits
Although Perry's mixing it up a bit.

Perry's seen wearing a scarf and chatters
Phineas: (Referring to kiddie ride) You know in retrospect I may have over-romanticized those memories. But I'll bet, with a little effort and some unstable uranium isotopes, we can make them that much fun!
Major Monogram: I don't smell too bad, do I?

Carl: I can't smell a thing.
Major Monogram: Well, that's a relief. I thought maybe I was—
Carl: No, I can't smell a thing, sir, I have no sense of smell.
Major Monogram: Really?
Carl: I was born without nostrils, sir.

Major Monogram: Oh. I thought you were joking about that on your resumé.
Major Monogram: Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying up every can of aerosol deodorant in the Tri-State Area, and I'm starting to smell like a science-fiction convention.
Doofenshmirtz: I just called in a to-go order for Doofenshmirtz.

Diner Worker: Hey Vic! You got an order for Doofieberg?
Doofenshmirtz: No, no, no, Doofenshmirtz! Heinz Doofenshmirtz! Surely you've heard of me?
Diner Worker: OK, order for Hans Doofen...smith? Is that right?
Doofenshmirtz: No, Doofenshmirtz! Doofen-- m-my brother's the mayor.
Diner Worker: Roger Doofenshmirtz is your brother?
Doofenshmirtz: Yes. Doofenshmirtz.
Diner Worker: And your name is...?
Doofenshmirtz: Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
Diner Worker: Do we have an order for a Hans Doofenblatz?
Doofenshmirtz: Grr! Mark my words, you will remember the name of Heinz Doofenshmirtz! (storms out door, then peeks head back in) Could I still get my whole wheat on rye?

Diner Worker: Sure. What's your name?
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus, how predictable. And by 'predictable', I mean completely... um... dictable, I guess.
Doofenshmirtz: I need a little drink of water after a tirade like that.
Candace: Ah, GlossTacular lipstick. Now I can blow up a bounce house and my lips would still be shiny!
Phineas: Isabella, we need you to get us an aerial view!
Isabella: Sure, Phineas! (soars upward) Whee!
Baljeet: Oh, my friends. I seem to have run out of fuel.

Phineas: No, you're not, Baljeet. Just put in another quarter!

Baljeet: But, all I have is a dollar! (notices that the machine also accepts dollar bills) Oh, what do you know? (he places the bill through the slot, but it comes back out. He does this two more times before rubbing it on his handlebars to smooth out the wrinkles, then puts it back in the slot, but comes back out again. He does this a fifth time, but the bill stays in the slot for a few seconds) Hm. (the bill comes back out again) Ugh, Come on!
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, water. It's like drinking wet air.
Isabella: Wow! She just flew through a barn and her lips are still shiny!
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, hey! I'm gonna crush you with my big mechanical hand!
Doofenshmirtz: ...but I've got you now! (Candace flies through, destroying his mechanical hand) Wow. Nostradamus was right.
(1st Version) Doofenshmirtz: Oh nice... nice one. Catch the villain in his own trap. That's not ironic Perry the platypus, it''s cliché, that's what it is. It's just plain lazy on your part.
(2nd Version) Doofenshmirtz: Ow! You know, I don't come to your house and--Wait, these don't have any chlorofluorocarbons in them at all. These aerosol cans are completley harmless! Wh-what was I thinking?!
Phineas: Well, that was fun. Maybe tomorrow we can soup up our old bikes.

Buford: Lame!
Phineas: That's what you said about the kiddie rides.

Buford: And I was right! Until I wasn't.

Background Information

Production Information

  • This episode airs in Australia under the name "The Ride at Tri-State Mart".
  • Since at least May 2011, this episode has aired with Doofenshmirtz's line "Oh nice... nice one. Catch the villain in his own trap. That's not ironic Perry the platypus, it''s cliché, that's what it is. It's just plain lazy on your part. CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" replaced with "Ow! You know, I don't come to your house and--Wait, these don't have any chlorofluorocarbons in them at all. These aerosol cans are completley harmless! Wh-what was I thinking?! CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" due to a complaint Disney received from the Consumer Aerosol Products Council. However, the iTunes releases still contain the original dialogue.

International Premieres

  • April 29, 2010 (Disney Channel Brazil and Latinoamerica)
  • June 4, 2010 (Disney XD Spain)
  • July 11, 2010 (Disney Channel Spain)
  • September 17, 2010 (Disney Channel UK)
  • November 26, 2010 (Disney Channel Scandinavia)
  • May 4, 2011 (Disney XD Scandinavia)


Phineas hair jumping!

Phineas' hair jumps out of his head

  • When Phineas and Ferb come out of the store, and Phineas says "Well, we do have that signature look," on the word "Well" his hair jumps out of the head.
  • When Buford puts the quarter in the kiddie ride, he doesn't push the red button but the kiddie ride launches.
  • When Buford flies into space, it appears that he departed from the Indian Ocean, near Africa. But really, it should be North America.
  • Had his plan gone through, Doofenshmirtz's name would actually be spelled backwards.
  • Buford is able to breathe in space even though you need a spacesuit to breathe in space.
  • At the end of this episode, Perry appears next to Phineas, Ferb, Isabella and Buford. When they see the kiddie rides getting replaced with the new ones, Perry was gone.
  • At the end of the episode, when Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Buford are leaving, Phineas says "That's what you said about the kiddie rides." to Buford, but his mouth is not moving when he says it.
  • As he's departing, Doofenshmirtz asks to get his "whole wheat on rye". Since no other ingredients are listed, it sounds like he had ordered a bread sandwich (with however many slices of whole wheat sandwiched between rye bread).
  • When the kids are chasing Candace in kiddie rides and Baljeet's ride, and later Candace's ride needs more quarters, they yell to Phineas, but Phineas responds with a Walkie-Talkie. Baljeet doesn't have a Walkie-Talkie, nor does Candace.
  • In Doofenshmirtz's explanation he wants to remove the ozone to spell his name. But when it shows the image on the ground the area around the letters is on fire instead of the area inside the letters which had the ozone removed from it.



  • Buford and Baljeet can be seen playing a Dance Dance Revolution-style game.
  • Nostradamus, the famous astrologer predicting the future, is mentioned twice in the episode.
  • Indiana Jones - When Perry is being chased by Doofenshmirtz with his Giant Mechanical Hand, Perry throws his hat over the hand, slides under and then catches it on the other side.



"Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers"
Episodes Next:
"Not Phineas and Ferb"

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