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This article is about the episode. You may be looking for the song of the same name.


This better be worth a quarter.

— Buford Van Stomm

Phineas and Ferb decide to trick out the kiddie rides in front of the Tri-State Mart. Candace sits in a rocket ride so it can't go anywhere, but the ride shoots off and she ends up on a high-flying rocket across Danville. Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz plans to leave behind a legacy by burning his name into the atmosphere.

Episode Summary[]

Linda arrives with her children at the mall. Candace rushes in to buy some high-gloss lipstick, while Phineas and Ferb pick out some back-to-school clothes, which are identical versions of the clothes they're already wearing. Linda gives them a pile of quarters so that they can play at the arcade, and heads off to find Candace.

As the boys walk off with their money, they spot a line of coin-operated kiddie rides, one of which is a red rocket that Phineas particularly loved when he was younger. He reminisces about him and Ferb flying around outer space on the rides, though his memories are a bit over-romanticized. He wants to make the rides live up to his memories, although a conveniently-timed repairman tells them to enjoy the rides while they can, because they're going to the trash later.

Perry enters his lair through the arcade, where Baljeet and Buford are seen playing Dance Dance Revolution, and receives his mission. Monogram feels disgusting, because he doesn't have any deodorant. Carl tells him he can't smell a thing because he was born without nostrils, which highly intrigues Monogram.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz walks to the diner near his home, but he can't pick up his sandwich order - whole wheat on rye - because the waitress keeps mispronouncing his name. He leaves angrily, vowing to make them remember his name. To that end, he bought up all the cans of aerosol deodorant, bug repellent, and hairspray in the Tri-State Area so that he could burn his name into the ozone layer.

Back at the mall, Isabella, Buford, and Baljeet join the boys as they unveil their souped-up kiddie rides. Buford, the self-proclaimed judge of the 'coolness' of the ride, hops into the red rocket, inserts a quarter, and shoots off into the atmosphere. As he touches back down to Earth, Candace comes rushing up to the group in anger. She sits in the red rocket ride, so evidence of the boys' activity would stay until their mother comes by. Buford slyly flips in a quarter to have a little fun at Candace's cost. She is then sent flying down the street. The kids then hop into other kiddie rides, which have also been tricked out by Phineas and Ferb, and fly after her as the song "Ain't No Kiddie Ride (song)" plays. As Candace flies through a barn, Baljeet's ride stops running, since his ride time had expired. He then spends the rest of the episode trying to get the machine to accept a dollar bill by smoothing it out.

When Candace reaches Danville Canyon, the rocket stops flying since her ride time has expired. She plummets to the bottom of the canyon, screaming that she hasn't got any money to re-fuel the ride. Ferb does a quick robot dance to get a quarter from some tourists. He then promptly shoots it into the rocket's coin acceptor, thereby saving Candace from crashing at the last possible second.

Meanwhile, Doofenshmirtz tries to crush Perry with a giant robotic hand, although he should launch his aerosol-themed scheme. Candace ends up destroying the robotic hand with her red rocket. Perry takes the fallen arm and smacks Doofenshmirtz with it, knocking him into the aerosol cans and then into his slicked-up pitfall trap. From there, he realizes that the aerosol cans he collected are all harmless since they don't have any chlorofluorocarbons, thus rendering his plan a failure.

Finally, Isabella catches the rocket with a lasso, and the kids all return to the mall. Candace runs off to get Linda to bust them just as Perry comes back, but right after she leaves, the repairman comes back and hauls off the souped-up rides, replacing them with new rides that are identical to their predecessors. The kids walk away and Phineas decides they can do the same to their old bikes tomorrow, which Buford shrugs off. Candace comes back with her mom, though her busting plot is once again foiled as she rocks on the slow-moving kiddie ride. Baljeet finally gets his kiddie ride to accept the dollar bill by having it ironed, but both the ride and the ironing board shoot off down the street, causing him to become thoroughly frustrated.

Transcript[]

Read the transcript of Ain't No Kiddie Ride.

Songs[]

End Credits[]

A replay of the song Ain't No Kiddie Ride.

Gallery[]

Click here to view more images from "Ain't No Kiddie Ride".
View the image gallery for "Ain't No Kiddie Ride".

Running Gags[]

I know what we're gonna do today!/Hey, where's Perry?[]

Phineas: But I'll bet with a little effort and some unstable uranium isotopes, we could make them that much fun. Ferb, I know what we're gonna-- Hey, where's Perry?

The "Too Young" Line[]

Linda: Aren't you a little old for kiddie rides?
Candace: No, no I'm not! Check it out!
(ride operates normally)
Linda: Well... I guess it does have rocking-back-and-forth and slowness?

Ferb's Line[]

None.

What'cha doin'?[]

Phineas: All done.
Isabella: Hey, Phineas. What'cha doin'?
Phineas: Oh, hey Isabella.
Buford: Hey losers.
Phineas: Oh, hey guys.
Buford: Don't tell me that your playing with that lame kiddie ride?
Phineas: We tricked it out, and now it's pretty awesome.
Buford: I'll be the judge of that, step aside.

Oh, there you are, Perry[]

Candace: You guys are gonna be so busted when I show Mom what you did to those kiddie rides!
(Perry chatters)
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.

Perry's entrance to his lair[]

Perry drives a racing video game into his lair.

Evil Jingle[]

Doofenshmirtz walks to the diner!

Memorable Quotes[]

Linda: I want you to pick up some nice back-to-school clothes.
they walk into the store and come right back out
Wow. That was fast.
Phineas: Well, we do have a signature look.
Phineas pulls out Ferb's outfit from his bag and Ferb pulls out Phineas's. They look at each other and switch outfits
Although Perry's mixing it up a bit.
Perry's seen wearing a scarf and chatters
Phineas: (Referring to kiddie ride) You know in retrospect I may have over-romanticized those memories. But I'll bet, with a little effort and some unstable uranium isotopes, we can make them that much fun!
Major Monogram: I don't smell too bad, do I?
Carl: I can't smell a thing.
Major Monogram: Well, that's a relief. I thought maybe I was—
Carl: No, I can't smell a thing, sir, I have no sense of smell.
Major Monogram: Really?
Carl: I was born without nostrils, sir.
Major Monogram: Oh. I thought you were joking about that on your resumé.
Major Monogram: Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying up every can of aerosol deodorant in the Tri-State Area, and I'm starting to smell like a science-fiction convention.
Doofenshmirtz: I just called in a to-go order for Doofenshmirtz.
Diner Worker: Hey Vic! You got an order for Doofieberg?
Doofenshmirtz: No, no, no, Doofenshmirtz! Heinz Doofenshmirtz! Surely you've heard of me?
Diner Worker: OK, order for Hans Doofen...smith? Is that right?
Doofenshmirtz: No, Doofenshmirtz! Doofen-- m-my brother's the mayor.
Diner Worker: Roger Doofenshmirtz is your brother?
Doofenshmirtz: Yes. Doofenshmirtz.
Diner Worker: And your name is...?
Doofenshmirtz: Heinz Doofenshmirtz.
(pause)
Diner Worker: Do we have an order for a Hans Doofenblatz?
Doofenshmirtz: Grr! Mark my words, you will remember the name of Heinz Doofenshmirtz! (storms out door, then peeks head back in) Could I still get my whole wheat on rye?
Diner Worker: Sure. What's your name?
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus, how predictable. And by 'predictable', I mean completely... um... dictable, I guess.
Doofenshmirtz: I need a little drink of water after a tirade like that.
Candace: Ah, GlossTacular lipstick. Now I can blow up a bounce house and my lips would still be shiny!
Phineas: Isabella, we need you to get us an aerial view!
Isabella: Sure, Phineas! (soars upward) Whee!
Baljeet: Oh, my friends. I seem to have run out of fuel.
Phineas: No, you're not, Baljeet. Just put in another quarter!
Baljeet: But, all I have is a dollar! (notices that the machine also accepts dollar bills) Oh, what do you know? (he places the bill through the slot, but it comes back out. He does this two more times before rubbing it on his handlebars to smooth out the wrinkles, then puts it back in the slot, but comes back out again. He does this a fifth time, but the bill stays in the slot for a few seconds) Hm. (the bill comes back out again) Ugh, Come on!
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, water. It's like drinking wet air.
Isabella: Wow! She just flew through a barn and her lips are still shiny!
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, hey! I'm gonna crush you with my big mechanical hand!
Doofenshmirtz: ...but I've got you now! (Candace flies through, destroying his mechanical hand) Wow. Nostradamus was right.
(1st Version)
Doofenshmirtz: Oh nice... nice one. Catch the villain in his own trap. That's not ironic Perry the platypus, it's...it's cliché, that's what it is. It's just plain lazy on your part.
(2nd Version) Doofenshmirtz: Ow! You know, I don't come to your house and--Wait, these don't have any chlorofluorocarbons in them at all. These aerosol cans are completley harmless! Wh-what was I thinking?! Curse you, Perry the Platypus!
Phineas: Well, that was fun. Maybe tomorrow we can soup up our old bikes.
Buford: Lame!
Phineas: That's what you said about the kiddie rides.
Buford: And I was right! Until I wasn't.

Background Information[]

None.

Production Information[]

  • This episode airs in Australia under the name "The Ride at Tri-State Mart".
  • Since at least May 2011 and on streaming services, this episode has aired with Doofenshmirtz's line "Oh nice... nice one. Catch the villain in his own trap. That's not ironic Perry the platypus, it's...it's cliché, that's what it is. It's just plain lazy on your part. CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" replaced with "Ow! You know, I don't come to your house and--Wait, these don't have any chlorofluorocarbons in them at all. These aerosol cans are completley harmless! Wh-what was I thinking?! CURSE YOU PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" due to a complaint Disney received from the Consumer Aerosol Products Council.

International Premieres[]

  • April 15, 2010 (Disney XD UK)
  • April 29, 2010 (Disney Channel Brazil and Latinoamerica)
  • June 4, 2010 (Disney XD Spain)
  • July 11, 2010 (Disney Channel Spain)
  • September 17, 2010 (Disney Channel UK)
  • November 26, 2010 (Disney Channel Scandinavia)
  • May 4, 2011 (Disney XD Scandinavia)

Errors[]

Phineas hair jumping!

Phineas' hair jumps out of his head

  • When Phineas and Ferb come out of the store, and Phineas says "Well, we do have that signature look," on the word "Well" his hair jumps out of the head.
  • When Buford puts the quarter in the kiddie ride, he doesn't push the red button but the kiddie ride launches.
  • When Buford flies into space, it seems that he departed from the Indian Ocean, near Africa. But really, it should from be North America.
  • Had his plan gone through, Doofenshmirtz's name would actually be spelled backwards.
  • Buford is able to breathe in space even though you need a spacesuit to breathe in space.
  • When the kiddie rides were getting switched with new ones, only the rocket got switched before the truck drives away.
  • At the end of this episode, Perry appears next to Phineas, Ferb, Isabella and Buford. When they see the kiddie rides getting replaced with the new ones, Perry was gone.
  • At the end of the episode, when Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Buford are leaving, Phineas says "That's what you said about the kiddie rides." to Buford, but his mouth is not moving when he says it.
  • When the kids are chasing Candace in kiddie rides and Baljeet's ride, and later Candace's ride needs more quarters, they yell to Phineas, but Phineas responds with a Walkie-Talkie. Baljeet doesn't have a Walkie-Talkie, nor does Candace.
  • In Doofenshmirtz's explanation he wants to remove the ozone to spell his name. But when it shows the image on the ground the area around the letters is on fire instead of the area inside the letters which had the ozone removed from it.
  • When the kids return the kiddie rides, all the other rides besides the rocket disappear for the rest of the episode in the following scene.
  • When Candace first sees the tricked out kiddie rides, she decides to stay with them in case they disappear, but in the end she leaves to get Mom as usual and doesn't bother to stay with them.

Continuity[]

Allusions[]

  • Buford and Baljeet are playing a Dance Dance Revolution-style game.
  • Nostradamus, the famous astrologer predicting the future, got mentioned twice in the episode.
  • Indiana Jones - When Perry chases Doofenshmirtz with his Giant Mechanical Hand, Perry throws his hat over the hand, slides under and then catches it on the other side.

Trivia[]

Cast[]

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Season 1
"Rollercoaster" | "Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror" | "Flop Starz" | "The Fast and the Phineas"
"Lights, Candace, Action!" | "Raging Bully" | "Candace Loses Her Head" | "I, Brobot"
"Run Away Runway" | "The Magnificent Few" | "S'Winter" | "Jerk De Soleil" | "Are You My Mummy?"
"Ready for the Bettys" | "I Scream, You Scream" | "Toy to the World"
"Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!" | "It's a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World" | "Mom's Birthday"
"Journey to the Center of Candace" | "It's About Time!"
"Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together" | "Tree to Get Ready" | "The Ballad of Badbeard"
"Greece Lightning" | "Leave the Busting to Us!" | "Crack That Whip" | "The Best Lazy Day Ever"
"Boyfriend From 27,000 B.C." | "Voyage to the Bottom of Buford" | "A Hard Day's Knight"
"Traffic Cam Caper" | "Bowl-R-Ama Drama" | "Got Game?" | "Comet Kermillian"
"Put That Putter Away" | "Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?" | "The Flying Fishmonger"
"One Good Scare Ought to Do It!" | "The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbenstein" | "Oil on Candace"
"Out of Toon" | "Hail Doofania!" | "Out to Launch" | "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted!"
"Unfair Science Fair" | "Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)"
Season 2
"The Lake Nose Monster" | "Interview With a Platypus" | "Tip of the Day"
"Attack of the 50 Foot Sister" | "Backyard Aquarium" | "Day of the Living Gelatin"
"Elementary My Dear Stacy" | "Don't Even Blink" | "Chez Platypus" | "Perry Lays an Egg"
"Gaming the System" | "The Chronicles of Meap" | "Thaddeus and Thor" | "De Plane! De Plane!"
"Let's Take a Quiz" | "At the Car Wash" | "Oh, There You Are, Perry" | "Swiss Family Phineas"
"Hide and Seek" | "That Sinking Feeling" | "The Baljeatles" | "Vanessassary Roughness"
"No More Bunny Business" | "Spa Day" | "Phineas and Ferb's Quantum Boogaloo"
"Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown" | "Bubble Boys" | "Isabella and the Temple of Sap"
"Cheer Up Candace" | "Fireside Girl Jamboree" |"The Bully Code" | "Finding Mary McGuffin" | "Picture This"
"Nerdy Dancin'" | "What Do It Do?" | "Atlantis" | "Phineas and Ferb Christmas Vacation!"
"Just Passing Through" | "Candace's Big Day" | "I Was a Middle Aged Robot" | "Suddenly Suzy"
"Undercover Carl" | "Hip Hip Parade" | "Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers" | "Ain't No Kiddie Ride"
"Not Phineas and Ferb" | "Phineas and Ferb-Busters!" | "The Lizard Whisperer" | "Robot Rodeo" | "The Beak"
"She's the Mayor" | "The Lemonade Stand" | "Phineas and Ferb Hawaiian Vacation" | "Nerds of a Feather"
"Wizard of Odd" | "We Call it Maze" | "Ladies and Gentlemen, Meet Max Modem!" | "The Secret of Success"
"The Doof Side of the Moon" | "Split Personality" | "Brain Drain" | "Rollercoaster: The Musical!"
"Make Play" | "Candace Gets Busted"
Season 3
"The Great Indoors" | "Canderemy" | "Run, Candace, Run" | "Last Train to Bustville"
"Phineas' Birthday Clip-O-Rama!" | "The Belly of the Beast" | "Moon Farm"
"Ask a Foolish Question" | "Misperceived Monotreme" | "Candace Disconnected"
"Magic Carpet Ride" | "Bad Hair Day" | "Meatloaf Surprise" | "Phineas and Ferb Interrupted"
"A Real Boy" | "Mommy Can You Hear Me?" | "Road Trip" | "Tour de Ferb" | "Skiddley Whiffers"
"My Fair Goalie" | "Bullseye!" | "That's the Spirit" | "The Curse of Candace"
"Escape from Phineas Tower" | "Lotsa Latkes" | "Ferb Latin"
"A Phineas and Ferb Family Christmas" | "Tri-Stone Area" | "Doof Dynasty" |"Excaliferb"
"Phineas and Ferb and the Temple of Juatchadoon" | "Monster from the Id" | "Gi-Ants"
"The Remains of the Platypus" | "Mom's in the House" | "Perry The Actorpus" | "Let's Bounce"
"Bully Bromance Breakup" | "Quietest Day Ever" | "The Doonkelberry Imperative‎‎"
"Meapless in Seattle" | "Delivery of Destiny" | "Buford Confidential" | "The Mom Attractor"
"Cranius Maximus" | "Agent Doof" | "Minor Monogram" | "What A Croc!" | "Sleepwalk Surprise"
"Sci-Fi Pie Fly" | "Sipping with the Enemy" | "Tri-State Treasure: Boot of Secrets" | "Doofapus"
"Norm Unleashed" | "Where's Perry?" | "Where's Perry? (Part Two)" |"Ferb TV"
"When Worlds Collide" | "What'd I Miss?" | "Road to Danville"
"This Is Your Backstory" | "Blackout!"
Season 4
"For Your Ice Only" | "Happy New Year!" | "Fly On the Wall" | "Bully Bust" | "My Sweet Ride"
"Der Kinderlumper" | "Sidetracked" | "Primal Perry" | "Mind Share" | "Backyard Hodge Podge"
"Bee Day" | "Bee Story" | "Great Balls Of Water" | "Where's Pinky?"
"Phineas and Ferb Musical Cliptastic Countdown Hosted by Kelly Osbourne"
"Knot My Problem" | "Just Desserts" | "La Candace-Cabra" | "Happy Birthday, Isabella"
"Love at First Byte" | "One Good Turn" | "Thanks But No Thanks" | "Troy Story"
"Druselsteinoween" | "Terrifying Tri-State Trilogy of Terror" | "Face Your Fear" | "Cheers for Fears"
"Steampunx" | "Just Our Luck" | "Return Policy" | "Live and Let Drive" | "Father's Day"
"Imperfect Storm" | "The Return of the Rogue Rabbit" | "It's No Picnic" | "The Klimpaloon Ultimatum"
"Operation Crumb Cake" | "Mandace" | "Lost in Danville" | "The Inator Method"
"Tales from the Resistance: Back to the 2nd Dimension" | "Doof 101" | "Act Your Age"
Season 5
"Summer Block Buster" | "Cloudy with a Chance of Mom" | "Appetite for Adventure" | "License to Bust"
"Dry Another Day" | "Deconstructing Doof" | "Tropey McTropeface" | "Biblio-Blast!" | "A Chip to the Vet"
"More Than an Intern" | "The Aurora Perry-Alis" | "Agent T (For Teen)" | "The Haberdasher"
"The Candace Suit" | "Out of Character" | "Meap Me in St. Louis"
Specials
"Phineas and Ferb: Summer Belongs to You!" | "Phineas and Ferb Save Summer"
"Night of the Living Pharmacists" | "Last Day of Summer" | "O.W.C.A. Files"
Films
Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension
Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Candace Against the Universe
Crossovers
"Phineas and Ferb: Mission Marvel" | "Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars" | "The Phineas and Ferb Effect"
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