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"The greatest freshwater pirate to ever plunder a lakeside community."
Clyde Flynn, describing Badbeard.[src]

Captain Badbeard was a feared, powerful freshwater pirate captain. Badbeard became legendary as the most notorious freshwater pirate to ever plunder a lakeside community. His countless robberies accumulated into what would be a valuable collection of tacky, fake beards, which he kept hidden inside a cave on Spleen Island.

Following his death, Badbeard and his adventures became legendary. The lake he would constantly plunder and sail on was named after him, becoming known as Badbeard Lake, and his legendary treasure of bad beards would be misinterpreted as a cursed booty of money. An extremely abridged ballad about his exploits became known to people in the woods around Badbeard Lake.

Life

Spleen Island

Spleen Island.

Badbeard lived likely somewhere around the 19th century. While acting as a captain of an unknown pirate vessel, he pillaged and plundered dozens of establishments and other types of living areas that resided in a woods-based community beside a large lake. ("The Ballad of Badbeard")

One of Badbeard's greatest accomplishment was his large-scale theft of countless tacky, obviously distasteful, faux beards from throughout the lakeside community. The freshwater pirate decided to bury his bountiful collection in a treasure box deep in a cave on Spleen Island—a medium-sized island that lies towards the center of the lake—so he traveled through the sea of bile, the stones of gall, and the sea of incontinence. When he reached his destination, he buried the treasure behind a large stone that rested in the shape of an "X." Not wanting his treasure to be completely hidden, however, he drew a map leading from in the wooded area of the community to the direct location of the beards. ("The Ballad of Badbeard")

Impact and legacy

Singing Ballad of Badbeard

Campers of the lakeside community beside Badbeard Lake singing the Ballad of Badbeard.

Following Badbeard's eventual death, his life as a feared pirate captain became legendary. History would remember him as "the greatest freshwater pirate to ever plunder a lakeside community," a feat that currently has yet to be matched. The lake of which he constantly used to sail on was eventually dubbed "Badbeard Lake" after him. ("The Ballad of Badbeard")

Residents of the lakeside community he plundered would eventually compose a ballad about his life tentatively entitled "The Ballad of Badbeard." The ballad was extremely short and consisting merely of the phrase "Arg, arg, arg, arg, this is the ballad of Badbeard," repeated twice. ("The Ballad of Badbeard") Sometime in the early 21st century, however, a group of children camping in the woods in the lakeside community expanded the song severely, albeit only loosely mentioning the pirate. ("I, Brobot," "The Ballad of Badbeard")

Ballad of Badbeard - Group shot

Phineas Flynn, who led his stepbrother and friends on a quest to find Badbeard's treasure.

The lore of Badbeard's treasure of beards would become twisted and misinterpreted over several generations, until people knowing of the pirate would believe that the treasure was actually money, gold, or some other form of valuable currency and whoever found it would be cursed with permanently terrible facial hair. In modern times, Phineas Flynn, his stepbrother Ferb Fletcher, and their friends — while on a visit to the former's grandparent's cabin in the woods beside Badbeard Lake — decided to try and discover the treasure while under this assumption. Being in possession of the captain's map, they modified Phineas and Ferb's grandfather Clyde Flynn's dinghy into a first-rate pirate ship. They trekked across dangerous paths until they reached Spleen Island, where, after ignoring other perils and losing their map, they finally discovered the treasure. Although they realized the finding's actual nature, they were still pleased and shared their discovery with their Clyde, his wife Betty Jo Flynn, and the boys' sister Candace. ("Get That Bigfoot Outa My Face!," "The Ballad of Badbeard")

Background Information

  • Badbeard first and currently only appearance in the series is within a mention in the episode "The Ballad of Badbeard," which primarily centered around Phineas and his friends searching for the pirate's treasure. The episode was written by Bobby Gaylor and Martin Olson, directed by Dan Povenmire, and originally broadcast on April 12, 2008.
  • Badbeard's name is a parody of Captain Blackbeard, a ruthless, fearless, and iconic pirate captain whose actual name was Edward Teach.

Appearances

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