"How We Make Phineas and Ferb" is an unused song sung by Dr. Doofenshmirtz and Major Monogram for promoting the show.
Doofenshmirtz: Okay; we're going to tell you how we make Phineas and Ferb
♪ First you need some paper and some pencils ♪
♪ And some artists, writers, and production crew. ♪
♪ Then you sit around and think up stories ♪
♪ And funny things for [characters] to do. ♪
Monogram: Um, well...
Doofenshmirtz: What? You said 'um'. I know you. What?
Monogram: Well. Not to be pedantic, but really? First you need pencils and paper?
Doofenshmirtz: Well sure, I wanted to start at the beginning, [because I didn't know how much] information [everybody had.]
Monogram: [I see so...] [So,] paper and pencils is the beginning. You don't need anything before that.
Doofenshmirtz: Well... Well, I mean. I guess first you need to have your own show [to make and...]
Monogram: [ha ah yes,] and on what do you plan to show this show.
Doofenshmirtz: What do you mean, on... it'll be on television.
Monogram: Television! Exactly.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh. Oh okay. So first you need television to have been invented!
Monogram: Yes you do. And it will be watched by whom?
Doofenshmirtz: Uh, people, ob.. ah.. I guess you need.. people. You need lifeforms with a sense of humor [and] opposable thumbs [to invent television].
Monogram: [Yes,] [yes you do.] Where would they be living? In a vacuum?
Doofenshmirtz: Ok. If you want to be a stickler!
Monogram: I do.
Doofenshmirtz: I guess first you need a planet capable of sustaining life.
Monogram: That's it. I think you've got it. Off you go.
Doofenshmirtz: You want me to start with a planet capable of sustaining life.
Doofenshmirtz: Not a very... very... poetic phrase, and there's a lot of steps in between.
Monogram: Well I have complete confidence in you.
Doofenshmirtz: Alright. ahhh... ok.
♪ You need a planet that has gravity and breathable air. ♪
♪ Human beings who'd laugh at things should also be there. ♪
♪ After TV is invented you come up with a show. ♪
♪ You sell it to a network and away you go. ♪
♪ And then you need a paper and a pencils and such ♪
♪ You have to hire actors so you pay them too much. ♪
♪ Of course every good production has an artist named Herb. ♪
And... and we've got one. Here he is.
Monogram: Lovely man.
Doofenshmirtz: Salt of the earth.
♪ And that's how we make Phineas and Ferb! ♪
All: ♪ And that's how we make Phineas and Ferb! ♪
Monogram: Oh! we uh.. better mention the songs.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh that's right.
All: ♪ And we write some songs! ♪
Monogram: Pencil sharpeners.
Doofenshmirtz: Shut up.