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Last Day of Summer/Memorable Quotes

< Last Day of Summer

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Act 1

Candace: Do your worst or your best, just make it big and bustable so I can show Mom!
Phineas: Wow! That was awfully supportive! (to Ferb) And you said Candace wasn't a morning person!
Candace: Why do we have so many wheeled objects lying around the house?
Linda: I better get a move on. Those errands aren't gonna run themselves. (chuckles) They never do! (unenthusiastically) They never do.
Phineas: Well, today's a big day, so it's a good thing we're getting an early start!

Isabella: I don't wanna waste one minute of our last day of summer!

Baljeet: Yipeeeeee! Last day of summer means first day of schooool! Ha-ha ha! (realizes the disproving looks on everyone else) I mean boooooo...
Phineas: Since it's our last day of summer, we're thinking a grand finale is in order. Show 'em the blueprints, Ferb.

(Ferb pushes the button on a remote and a giant blueprint comes up out of the ground.)
Baljeet and Isabella: Oooooh!

Buford: Eh, could use a little somethin' more. (more blueprint rolls out above the first one) Dere it is!
Major Monogram: Great googly moogly! Carl! Oh, that's right. School. (sadly) Keep it together, Francis.

Act 2

Norm: (walking towards Doofenshmirtz's bed with a slice of chocolate cake) Wakey wakey, chocolate cakey! (takes a fork of it and points it at Doofenshmirtz)
Doofenshmirtz: (annoyed) How many times do I have to tell you that chocolate cake isn't for break— (Norm stuffs the bite in his mouth, Doofenshmirtz chews and swallows) I stand corrected.
Norm: Sir, since when do you sleep in your lab coat?
Doofenshmirtz: Since none of your business!
Vanessa: Hey, (Doofenshmirtz stops and turns around) Dad, you have a minute?

Doofenshmirtz: Can it wait, sweetie? I've got a lot of stuff on my evil to-do list to do today. To do today. To-do to-day,
Vanessa: Dad.
Doofenshmirtz: to-do to-day, to-do to-day.
Vanessa: Dad!
Doofenshmirtz: It's like a little song! (starts doing a little dance) To-do,
Vanessa: (angrily) Dad!!
Doofenshmirtz: to-do, to-do to-day, to-do,
Vanessa: (rolling her eyes) Ugh! (walks away)

Doofenshmirtz: to-do todaaay! All the ladies in the house say— (points where Vanessa was) Wait! Where'd she go?
Baljeet: Yipeee! For this and not for school. (walks away from the others and whispers) I love you school! (walks back)

Buford: Do other nerds erect statues to you?

Baljeet: Maybe.
Isabella: (referencing the invention) Looks pretty mega to me!

Buford: (walking over to Phineas and Ferb) Yeah, it's pretty mega, but is it really grand finale material worthy (hugs Phineas and Ferb) of these two guys? (pausing and realizing what he did) I just made it weird, didn't I?
Phineas: No, not at all!
Ferb: Hugs are a healthy expression of affection between friends.

Buford: (letting go of them and looking at Ferb) Okay, now you just made it weird.
Phineas: We've gotta make sure we've outdone ourselves on this one.

Buford: And there's only one way to do it.
Phineas: You're right, Buford. Let's ride it! (everyone but Buford starts running towards the invention)

Buford: Actually I was gonna say focus group testing, (starts running to catch up to the others) but "ride it" works too.
Baljeet: (looking at papers in his hands) Well, empirically speaking, the test results show almost unanimous approval ratings!

Buford: (coming down beside Baljeet) I have notes.

Baljeet: Like I said: almost.
Candace: Hey, Vanessa! Just came by here to return your DVDs. Sorry I had them so long, can't say I understand French cinema. I mean, why does that mime keep letting go of balloons?
Vanessa: I think it's symbolic.
Doofenshmirtz: When the guy who's punching you suddenly loses interest mid-punch, it's time to take serious stock of your life.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, that is my Do-Over-inator.

Candace: What's a "Do-Over-inator"?

Doofenshmirtz: I-It says "do over" right in the name. It does the day over again. But I haven't worked out all the kinks yet. Matter of fact, I gotta work out the kinks of a lot of these.
Candace: You there, boy! What day is this?!
Phineas: Why, the last day of summer, of course!
Candace: Hey! This is amazing! Today is exactly the same as yesterday! It's repeating!

Lawrence: Very existential, darling. You're getting philosophical as you get older.
Candace: And BUSTosophical!
Linda: (singsongy) That's not even a wo-ord!

Candace: It is now! (singsongy) I made it u-up!
Norm: Door slams mean sadness!
Norm's speaker: (Vanessa's voice) I'm going to live at Mom's... full time. (door slamming noise)
Doofenshmirtz: Aaah! I can't believe it! (inhales sharply) You surreptitiously record us? And even more importantly, I'm losing my little girl!

Act 3

Doofenshmirtz: Why would Vanessa want to move out?

Norm: Let's see if we can solve that little mystery! (presses his top button)
Norm's speaker: (Doofenshmirtz's voice) Hey, Vanessa, hand me that cadaver.
Norm: or (presses his button again)
Norm's speaker: (Doofenshmirtz's voice) Honeybun, if you go into the living room and see a pile of skin flakes, just ignore it.
Doofenshmirtz: Okay.
Norm: or (presses his button again)

Norm's speaker: (Doofenshmirtz's voice) I know you said the time machine in the bathroom was a bad idea, but if you need to go, you should do it last week.
Candace: Oh, no. I'm not falling for that one again. (walks to the side) Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, but fool me three times and (steps on a third skate) whooooa! Why do I even have three skates?
Doofenshmirtz: BRB! That's uh, that's "be right back". It's hip today to talk in acronyms.
Norm: It's muffin time, sir!
Doofenshmirtz: Norm, hand out the victory muffins.

Norm: What is a muffin?
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, come on. You know. Like:
Oh, do you know the muffin man,
That lives on Drury Lane?

Drury Lane? Why would anyone buy a house on Drury Lane? It just sounds so, it sounds dreary, even though it's not actually "Dreary", it's "Drury".
Doofenshmirtz: Voting today!

Man: I didn't know there were elections today.

Doofenshmirtz: (pushing him in the booth) Oh, get in the booth and do your civic duty.
Candace: Um, ever hear of a spoon?

Lawrence: Spoon? Mm, no, can't say I have.
Candace: Ha-ha, ha! Hey! I hear there's a new tiger habitat, dahling.
Lawrence: Tiger? (stifles a laugh) That's a funny sounding word.
Linda: (standing up) Oh, these teenagers and their slang. (walking towards the open garage door and Candace notices something about her) I'd better go run my errands. They're not gonna run themselves. (turns around and grabs her purse, revealing she's wearing shorts)
Candace: Mom? What happened to your capri pants?
Linda: Capri pants? Now I think you're just messing with us.

Candace: Ha... No spoons? No tigers? No capris? Uh-oh, something's really going wrong!
Candace: Mom, Phineas and Ferb are gone!
Linda: I'm sure it's going to be all right, dear, but, who are "Phineas" and "Ferb"?

Act 4

Candace: How can you not know who Phineas and Ferb are?!

Linda: Lemme guess. They're your new favorite boy band?
Candace: No, Mom. Y'see, later on today, which is kinda like last month to me, Vanessa's dad invents this thing which he says doesn't work but it actually does, because, well, here I am. But it also doesn't work because they're not here, so even though every day repeats, not everyone or everything repeats, because you don't even know what Capri pants are!!
Linda: "Capri Pants"? Is that a boy band?

Candace: They're— (slaps herself) Gah!
(An anomaly opens up and oranges fall from the sky.)
Phineas: Orange you glad we have somethin' to eat? (no response) You're right. You're right. We gotta figure out a way outta here.
Buford: (offscreen) But I'm tellin' ya, the sun's rays'll make ya crazy.
Isabella: I'm not gonna buy your hat, Buford.
Candace: No, no, I have two little brothers and all of you are best friends! But then Vanessa's dad built this machine, and now the days are repeating and things like spoons and little boys like my brothers are starting to disappear. And the worst thing is nobody remembers them!
Buford: You should stay out of the sun!
Doofenshmirtz: Right on time, Perry the Platypus! (reading a piece of paper) This concerns you. I have just made it illegal to thwart the Tri-Governor of the Tri-State Area, which, ipso facto, is me. (Gives Perry the paper.) Go ahead, read it. It's all perfectly legal. Looks like your thwarting days are over, Perry the Platypus. (sighs) Y'know, I-I-I really miss our good old thwarting days already. I-In fact, your presence here is making me far too sad and nostalgic. So maybe you better go. (Perry leaves dragging his jetpack across the rug.) Just leave the way you came in. I'll bill ya for the carpet.

Perry: (chatters sadly)

Doofenshmirtz: No, no, don't give me the puppy dog eyes. You're gonna make me cry. Sheesh.
Doofenshmirtz: H-Hey, what's all this?

Melanie: More legislation that requires your signature, sir. (she leaves)

Doofenshmirtz: But I hate homework!
Phineas: Wow, this stuff is pretty random. I hope no one at home is planning to baste a turkey while wearing suspenders and Capri pants. (no response) You're right. Mr. Keene is having a very bad day!
Phineas: Run, Ferb! It's raining snowglobes! A-And the tigers, they are also a reason to run!
Baljeet: ...and at the destabilization point, the vortex collapses in on itself, and it becomes an actual "hole" in space-time, sucking the nearest person or object into it and they are lost in the void.
Buford: OH, PLEASE STOP TALKING!!!
Vanessa: You spend all of your time working on your ridiculous inators and I can't—

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, first of all, they're not ridiculous. Convoluted and ultimately pointless, maybe.
Vanessa: Oh, come on, Dad, you build them just to exact petty revenge trying to prove you're evil.
Doofenshmirtz: What? I'm evil. I-I am evil!

Vanessa: No, Dad. You're basically a nice guy who's pretending to be evil. And, you know, it seems like it's all out of obligation to your backstories, not something that truly comes from your heart.
Vanessa: Look, all I'm saying is try something different.

Doofenshmirtz: Like a...Like a new inator?
Vanessa: No, like try to be a good guy.

Doofenshmirtz: A good guy? Me? I can be... Well, I guess I could. I-I could be a do-gooder, doing good, just for the sake of... doing good, or, er, what exactly do good guys do?
Doofenshmirtz: Vanessa! Yes, yes, I know, you, you'd like to move in with your mother and you want to intern at OWCA and my being evil creates a conflict.

Vanessa: Um, yeah. How did you know—
Doofenshmirtz: Let's just leave it at I know and I vow to be good from now on so your worries are over.
Vanessa: Wow, you're kind of freaking me out.

Doofenshmirtz: Yes, yes, I'd be obnoxious if I wasn't so charming.
Vanessa: What's the inator?

Doofenshmirtz: The Time-Straighten-Out-inator! It straightens out time and keeps it from looping.
Vanessa: I think I'm looping.

Doofenshmirtz: Exactly!
Candace: So here's the part you need to pay attention to! Are you listening?

Baljeet: I am totally listening!
Buford: I am so not listenin'.

Isabella: Me neither.
Baljeet: If we could calculate the location of the next rift, we could just throw in a rope with a life preserver tied to the end of it and pull it out.

Candace: Oh, really? A little donut-shaped pool toy is gonna save the universe?

Buford: (eating a donut) Ya had me at "donuts", lost me with everything else.
Baljeet: Isabella, what is the resonance reading on the top meter?

Isabella: Forty-two point one six!
Baljeet: Candace, what is the cosine of eighty-one point seven?
Candace: (using a calculator) Lessee. Seventeen.
Baljeet: Buford, did the light just change from green to red?
(Buford is sitting at a machine and the light changes from green to red.)

Buford: Why should I tell you?
Candace: Wow. Crazy how it sucked up that groundhog, huh?
Buford: The what?
Candace: Phineas! Ferb! If you can hear me, grab the life preserver and we'll pull you back!

Buford: What's a "life preserver"?
Isabella: I have no idea.

Candace: You guys are just gonna have to trust me on this!

Act 5

Doofenshmirtz: My life will be on a new path and the world will be saved thanks to brand new good guy, Heinz Doofen—

(Clock transition.)
(Cut to Doof back in his bed.)

Doofenshmirtz: Ah, shmirtz!
Phineas: Hi, guys! So good to see you!

Isabella: (gasps)
(The dramatic kissing music from "Act Your Age" plays as Isabella sees Phineas.)
(Flashback Montage: Scenes of Phinabella from Flop Starz, The Chronicles of Meap, Hide and Seek, One Good Scare Ought to Do It!, That Sinking Feeling, Happy New Year!, Phineas and Ferb Summer Belongs to You!, What A Croc!, Minor Monogram, That Sinking Feeling again, Bee Day, Troy Story, It's No Picnic, The Klimpaloon Ultimatum, SBTY again, and SBTY a third time.)

Isabella: (lovelorn) Phineas! (normally) Hey, Phineas.
Baljeet: (gasps) Spoon!

(Flashback Montage: Various scenes of Baljeet using a spoon.)
Baljeet: Oh, how I have missed spoons!

Buford: Orange! (dramatic music; suddenly winds down) Eh...not really getting a big rush of emotions over this.
Candace: And here are the Capri pants.
Isabella: How can you tell they're Capri pants? Maybe they're just regular pants for someone with shorter legs.
Candace: Wow, I guess now that we're gone, too, Mom and Dad don't even remember having children. Their lives must be so empty.

(Cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house.)
Walk the Platypus Walk

(Cut to the living room where Linda is dressed as a Vegas showgirl and Lawrence is dressed like a pimp and they are dancing around.)
Baljeet: (shudders) The time pocket is dissolving!

Buford: And where does that rate on the... "good-bad" scale?
Baljeet: Buford, when the time pocket ceases to exist, so will we!
(Dramatic closeups on Buford, Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella. Zoom out on Isabella revealing she's wearing a pair of Capri pants.)

Isabella: See what I mean? One woman's Capri pants is another's... What'd I miss?
Baljeet: What I cannot seem to figure out is what could have possibly caused the space-time disruption in the first place? And an even bigger conundrum is how Candace is standing outside of the space-time interruption and somehow knew about its effects.

(The gang looks at Candace.)
Candace: (nervous chuckle as she pulls on her shirt collar) Yeah, that's a puzzler. But you know that old saying: "Never question the source of a...temporal time...space...loop thingy." Heh heh. Eh.
Phineas: Really?

Buford: Yeah, I've heard that.
Buford: I dub thee "The Buford van Stomm Time Catapult". I won the naming rights fair and square.

Act 6

Vanessa: Are you sure it'll work?

Doofenshmirtz: Oh, yeah, absolutely. There's a guaranteed 55% chance of success, so we're...we're good to go.
Vanessa: Wait, so there's still a 45% chance that it won't do anything?
Doofenshmirtz: Of course not, it's not gonna do nothing. There's also a 45% chance it'll destroy everything in existence.

Vanessa: What?! Dad, you have to tell us things like this!
Phineas: Is everyone okay?
Buford: Aw, my muffins got smashed.
Doofenshmirtz: Oh. We're starting here now. Hey, it has been brought to my attention that I should tell you guys there's a 55% chance this will work, but a 45% chance that it'll destroy reality as we know it.

Vanessa: What?!
Doofenshmirtz: Absolute worst-case scenario.
Vanessa: Okay, what happens if we don't push it?
Doofenshmirtz: If we do nothing, there's a hundred percent chance that the time pocket will dissolve and it'll destroy every— Y'know, there's a whole illustration I can do with a paper towel and a hook, but I don't have time.

Vanessa: Okay, we have to take a moment and think about the—
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, here's the odds. Save the day: 55%. Destroy the universe as we know it: 45%. But do nothing at all: a hundred percent chance of the end of time. So whadaya say?

Vanessa: Whoa.
Doofenshmirtz: Good answer! How 'bout you, Perry the Platypus? Come on, if you got something to say, now's the time.

(Perry starts to open his mouth to chatter, but the clock transition appears again.)
Phineas: The time loop is getting too short!

Buford: What if I throw Baljeet?

Baljeet: You are just using this as an excuse!
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, I gotta tell ya, there's a lot of risk involved, but we've discussed it over, like, three loops already, and I think this is our only option. Are you with me?

Vanessa: Yeah, I am.
(Doof smiles and looks at Perry.)
Perry: (thumbs up and chatters approvingly)

Doofenshmirtz: Okay, I should have just about enough time to press this button if I'm not too overly dramatic about it.
Linda: Okay, kids. Pie's almost ready. Anybody want some fresh orange juice in the meantime?

Lawrence: I used a spoon to squeeze them.
Buford: Orange juice!
Isabella: Yay!

Buford: There's the emotional attachment to oranges I've been lackin'!
Doofenshmirtz: We are back in business, baby girl! (hugs Vanessa)

Vanessa: Yes! Dad, I'm so proud of you! You did it!
Doofenshmirtz: Aw, I'd do anything for you, pumpkin pants! After we dismantle this thing, I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself. I've got no experience being a good guy.
Vanessa: Well, I'll stick around and help you figure it out. I hear OWCA is looking for a few good animals.

Doofenshmirtz: Well, I was raised by ocelots!
Isabella: What was your favorite part, Phineas?

Phineas: Of the summer?
Isabella: Yeah! What was your favorite thing we built?
Phineas: Memories.
Buford: Oh, come on!
Baljeet: Oh, really corny!

Phineas: No, I'm serious! We've done a lot of great stuff. How can I choose?
Candace: When my brothers got busted

It was only a dream.
Phineas: But who had that dream?
Was it Perry or you?
Candace: Actually, I think my dream was inside of Perry's dream.

Buford: My mind is blown.
Phineas: Isabella kissed me but I got my mind erased.

Isabella: Wait. What?

Phineas: (winking) You just wait ten years.
(final line of the series)

Linda: Anyone want some pie?

Phineas: Yes, yes we do.

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