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Let's Bounce/Transcript

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(In the backyard, Phineas and Ferb are jumping on a trampoline)
Phineas: Hey, Ferb! Wouldn't it be great...if there were trampolines...everywhere you went?
(Ferb stops in mid-air)
Phineas: Hey, Ferb! Nice hang time!
Ferb: (Pulls out small device) Personal anti-gravity device.
Phineas: That gives me an idea. I know what we're gonna!...Hey... (bounces and activates anti-gravity device) Where's Perry?

(Perry walks down the stairs to the basement and jumps through the middle step parachuting into his lair)
Major Monogram: Ah, Agent P. Doofenshmirtz was spotted leaving this building with a shopping list. On the list were four items: eggs, vitamins, ice and leaks. Innocent enough until you realize, it is a recipe for...evil. Get out there and make sure he never serves that dish.
(Perry salutes and rockets out)

(Scene shifts to the kitchen)
Candace: Whoa. Did you just feel something?
Linda: Morning, hon.
Candace: Mmm, that smells good. I'll get the plates out.
Linda: Well, put out ten, because I was talking to Jeremy's mom earlier, and we thought it would be fun to get us all together for brunch this morning.
Candace: Wait. So the whole Johnson family, and our whole family, together?
Linda: Yeah!
Candace: Mom, this is the first time both of our families have formally gone together!
Linda: Honey, relax. It's just a casual brunch. No big deal.
Candace: No big deal? I'm Jeremy's girlfriend! We have to make a good impression! Breakfast is easy! This is brunch! Brunch! That's so fancy! Mom, what does this frittata see about us as a family?
Linda: There's nothing wrong with my frittata.
Candace: And a frozen orange juice?! Really?! (dumps orange mix into a pitcher of water and pants) I can't breathe. Where do we keep the paper bags?
(Linda goes over to the window and opens it)
Linda: (at Phineas and Ferb) Hey guys, I know you ate earlier, but you wanna join us for brunch?
Candace: No! No! No! They'll embarrass me!
Phineas: Aw, we can't mom, we're on our way to the hardware store to pick up some extra parts.
Linda: Okay two less plates then.
Candace: Good! Is this house even clean enough for this? (Picking up a few magazines) Let's see, monster trucks on the bottom, book review on top. That should impress 'em. (She looks out the window, and sees Phineas and Ferb's personal anti-gravity device) Oh no! No! No! That is hideous! What the heck did the build out here? (Reading) "Anti-gravity maximus" Oh I have got to get rid of this thing. (She begins to pulls it away, but the machine zaps her, making her float in the air) Oh no. No! N- Ahh! Phineas and Ferb! Not today! Not now! If Jeremy's parents see me like this, that's the end of me seeing him. Come on there's got to be a reverse switch on this thing.

(At the hardware store)
Phineas: Excuse me sir, Where do you keep the reverse switches?
Store employee: Right behind ya'. Next to that guy buying self destruct buttons.
Doofenshmirtz Aw sweet, fifty cents off with coupon.

(The doorbell rings at the Flynn-Fletcher house)
Candace: Oh my gosh. They're here.
Linda: Candace, my hands are full, can you get the door?
Candace: I'm on it mom. (Candace works her way across the lawn, keeping herself grounded to the best of her ability) (At the front door Jack Johnson, Mrs. Johnson, Jeremy, and Suzy all wait for Candace)
Jeremy: Well, Suzy. Are you excited to see Candace.
Suzy: Yes. I love Candace.
(Candace finally makes her way to the door)
Candace: I'm coming. Just a few more feet. (she opens the door for the Johnson family) Jeremy, and the whole family, welcome to our humble dwelling.
Mrs. Johnson: Good morning Candace. Where's your mom?
(Candace stops holding onto the door for support, in favor of using Mrs. Johnson)
Candace: She's in the kitchen Mrs. Johnson. It's right through there.
Mrs. Johnson: Okay, here we go.
Candace: Oh, it's just so nice to see you, I just can't stop hugging you.

Phineas: Anytime you're ready Ferb.
Isabella: (As she walks into the back yard) Hey Phineas, what'cha doin'?
Phineas: Hey Isabella. We're blasting this pile of trampolines with an anti gravity machine. So we can ounce all over town.
Isabella: Why not blast ourselves with anti-gravity?
Phineas: Well, then we couldn't bounce. Blast 'em Ferb.
(Ferb fires the Anti-gravity Maximus, making all the trampolines float up into the air)
Phineas: Come on guys, Follow me!
Buford: (With a tear in his eye) It's beautiful!
Baljeet: Buford?! You are crying!
Buford: (He removes the tear off his eye and puts it on Baljeet) No, I'm not, you're crying!

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated
Doofenshmirtz Recording: Good morning Perry the Platypus. I had to step out for a moment, but please, help yourself to some gnosh. Eggs, vitamins, ice, or leaks. I have no idea what you platypuses eat, but whatever you do, don't destroy my new evil -inator. (Perry takes a nearby sledge hammer and go to destroy the -inator, however, Perry's feet get trapped in braces) A-ha! You're trapped! A-hahahaha Sucker!
Doofenshmirtz: Do you like it Perry the Platypus? It's my new Tell-the-Truth-inator! One blast from this baby, and people will be forced to tell the truth. It features an Abe Lincoln robot. He doesn't actually serve any functional purpose, he just decoration. He's, he's thematically linked to honesty. Y-You know through his nickname "Honest Abe". But enough about me, let me ask you this. Have you ever wondered what it is that holds the fabric of society together? No it's no cooperation, or trust or any of that stuff hippies want you to believe, it's lies. All the little white lies we tell each other. For you see Perry the Platypus...

(Song: "Lies")
Doofenshmirtz: Lies are the glue that hold society together
People lie about their mileage, they lie about the weather
They lie to spare each other's feelings
They lie to stay in bed
They lie to feel important, about all the books that they've read

Woman: You look good in that hat.
Doofenshmirtz: Lies!
Man: I don't think you have too many cats.
Doofenshmirtz: Lies!
Man 2: Your hair looks nice when it's up like that.
Doofenshmirtz: Lies!
Lies, lies, lies!

Woman 2: Oh dear, the house looks great.
Doofenshmirtz: Lies!
Blay'n: You haven't put on any weight.
Doofenshmirtz: Lies!
Woman 3: Oh, I thought you said eight.
Doofenshmirtz: Lies!
Lies, lies, lies!

People say that it's all right
They're only trying to be polite
But even though they're little and white
They're lies
Yes, everyone says it's alright
And I don't want to start a fight
But you know the ties that bind us tight are

Doofenshmirtz: Did ya' hear that high note? That was the A above middle C, not too shabby.

Linda: Candace will you pour the OJ?
Candace: Sure Mom. There's got to be something heavy in here. (She finds a wrench, and shoves it in her shoe, weighing her down somewhat) OJ, did you now that stood for Orange Juice, cause I didn't. Well, its not fresh, but it was an impromptu brunch. Brunch cross between breakfast and lunch, makes you wonder what a late night snack would be. A lack? How about a rack? Cross between dinner and snack, anyway... Haha, enjoy.

(Meanwhile the gang bounce around on the floating trampolines to the tune of the "Quirky Worky Song")

Baseball Announcer: It's a beautiful day for a ball game!
Doofenshmirtz: (On his flying platform) But it won't be a beautiful day for long. Not after they all start tell the truth about each other. I'll start with that hotdog guy down there. Wait 'till the world hears what's in those things. And fire!
Vendor: Hotdogs, get your hotdogs! (He gets zapped) They're aren't really any hotdogs in here, I just wanted to get into the game for free.
Doofenshmirtz: Huh, I didn't see that one coming. Let's just see what the players have to say.
(He shoots the catcher)
Catcher: Here comes a fastball.
Batter: Thanks pal. (He hits the ball sending it flying, up to where Doofenshmirtz is, and knocking the Abe Lincoln robot)
Baseball Announcer: And it's out of here!
Abe Lincoln Robot: Malfunctioning. Loyalties shifting.
Doofenshmirtz: Let's see what embarrassing truths that women who's holding that unusually large hand mirror has to say. (He fires, but the rays bounces back and hits Doofenshmirtz) Secretly I'm very lonely. Where did that come from?!

(In the garage)
Phineas: How 'bout some lemonade?
Candace: (bursts into the garage) There you are, this is all your fault! That machine of yours has made me lighter than air!
Isabella: I just mentioned that, I thought it would be so fun to--
Baljeet: Not a good time for that.
Candace: I'm trying to make a good impression on Jeremy's parents, (Suzy peeks around the garage door, and listens in on the conversation) and I can't even keep my feet on the ground!
Phineas: I guess we should install that reverse button now. We wouldn't want you bouncing off the ceiling during brunch.
Ferb: That would be a little rough on the old frittata.
Candace: Just hurry before I make an even bigger fool of myself

Abe Robot: It is all together fitting and proper that I must destroy Doofenshmirtz.
(The robot comes towards Doofenshmirtz)
Doofenshmirtz: No! Get back! Ahhh!
Abe Robot: Must destroy Doofenshmirtz.
Doofenshmirtz: (While hiding behind Perry) He's gonna John Wilkes my Booth! (a beat) What, to soon?
(The Abe Robot continues to chase Doofenshmirtz, and Perry takes out a screwdriver, and begins to free himself)

Candace: So, Mrs. Johnson, it's so great to talk to each other like adults. (Suzy crawls under the table, and pulls out the wrench weighing candace down) Just me and you talking all adulty and stuff, and (Candace notices her leg has floated up) WHOA! (She floats up entirely, just managing to hold onto the table) Ahh! Just doin' a little yoga stretching to help this digestion, yep.
Linda: Good thing she's wearing her skort.

Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, do something! He's going to emancipate my proclamation!
(The Abe Robot throws Doofenshmirtz off of the platform, fortunately for Doofenshmirtz, he lands on one of Phineas and Ferb's trampolines, and bounces back up)
Doofenshmirtz: (While bouncing) What's up Honest Abe? Looks like the old Doofster's a little too, smart for y-- (The Abe Lincoln robot grabs Doofenshmirtz from the air) Oh, hehehe, hi, you.

Candace: (Still hanging on by the table) Hahaha! Did I ever tell you I'm thinking of taking gymnastics next year? Haha!
Jeremy: Awesome.
Suzy: (Still under the table) Gymnastics? How about aerobatics?
(Suzy grabs a spoon, and begins to pry Candace's finger off from the table)
Candace: Ow! Ow! O-Oh my gosh. Well, uh, that's enough gymnastics for now. (She manages to sit back down, and wrap her leg around the char, grounding herself)
Suzy: Candace, can you juggle with this?
Candace: No! put that down. Suzy that's my 1984 collectable Ducky Momo plate, where they printed the entire design upside down. It's priceless.
Suzy: Mmm, oh whoops. (She throws the plate)
Candace: (In slow motion) Noooooo! (She manages to catch it with her mouth, while keeping herself from floating away, by grabbing onto Mrs. Johnson's Head with her feet)
Linda: Candace Flynn, what has gotten into you? I want the truth, and nothing but the truth.
Candace: The truth?

Doofenshmirtz: No! No! Get off!
Abe Robot: Honest Abe Lincoln Smash!
(The robot smashes the control panel for the platform, causing it to fly around, with no control)
Doofenshmirtz: Now look what you've done. We're out of control!
(Perry finally frees himself, and uses his parachute to escape)

Candace: Well... the truth is...
(Suzy gets hit with a stray beam from Doofenshmirtz's -inator)
Suzy: I've been trying to make Candace look bad all morning!
Mrs. Johnson: Suzy!
Suzy: I mean, bubble!

(Doofenshmirtz struggles for control of the platform, managing to pull it out of a nose dive, however, the he also pulled off the entire steering mechanism, making the platform completely out of control)

Mrs. Johnson: Get over here Suzy. We're guests here, and guests do not behave like that.
Suzy: But Mom, Candace floats!
Mrs. Johnson: Oh, and now you're telling lies.
Candace: Ugh, Mrs. Johnson, as much as I hate to admit it, Suzy's not lying. Phineas and Ferb made a ray that makes me weightless. I might as well show you I couldn't embarrass myself more than I already have.
(In the backyard Phineas and Ferb finish installing the reverse button)
Phineas: Reverse switch, check. Is it aimed at Candace? Close enough. (He fires the ray)
Candace: Look. (She removes her hands from the table, but gets hit with the ray, making her crash down) Ta da...!
Jeremy: So dad, what do you think?
John: She's a lot like your mom.

(The Tell-the-Truth-inator platform continues to fly around with no control, picking up the floating trampolines left by Phineas and Ferb)
Doofenshmirtz: Curse you Honest Abe Lincoln!

Phineas: Looks like it worked Ferb, Candace is just standing there, talking and pointing. Oh, now looks like they're coming out here. hey! Let's show them our anti-gravity maximus!
(That's the cue for Doofenshmirtz's out of control platform to swoop down and stab up the anti-gravity Maximus, taking it away. Candace drags her mom to the backyard at just the right moment to not see anything)
Candace: It's right out here Mom...It was right here!
Linda: What am I looking at, Candace?
Candace: It was a machine that made me weightless, it, it... Suzy tell them.
Suzy: (pause) Bubble!
Candace: Ugh, you heard her, bubble.

End Credits

Doofenshmirtz: People say that it's all right
They're only trying to be polite
But even though they're little and white
They're lies
Yes, everyone says it's alright
And I don't want to start a fight
But you know the ties that bind us tight are

Doofenshmirtz: Not too shabby.

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