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Minor Monogram/Transcript

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(Scene opens up with Perry sitting outside a tree. He is carried up by an invention by Phineas and Ferb. It is revealed that Phineas, Ferb, and their friends are sitting inside the leaves of the tree.)
Phineas: Boy, it seems like summer flies by so fast sometimes.
Isabella: Yeah, before we know it, it'll be autumn.
Baljeet: Yes! Back to school, baby! ...Oh, you meant that like a bad thing.
Phineas: There are a lot of great things about the fall. Jumping in giant leaf piles. Perfect example.
Isabella: Yeah, the leaves turn such pretty colors in the fall. I love it.
Buford: Gourds. Gourds are great ...What? I like gourds.
Phineas: I know what we should do today. Remember how we made "S'Winter"? Let's make "S'Fall"! Hey, where's "S'Perry"?


(Scene shifts to the O.W.C.A Lair)
Major Monogram: Carl.
Carl: Yes?
Major Monogram: Did I ever tell you you're like the son that I never had?
Carl: Really, sir!?
Major Monogram: Yes. It's because you're so unlike the son that I did have! And here he is. Come on over here, Monty!
Monty: Dad, come on. You know it's embarrassing when you brag about me by belittling others.
Major Monogram: Right, sorry. Agent P, uh, you remember my son?
Monty: Yeah, good to see you, Agent P.
(Perry smiles and waves to Monty)
Major Monogram: Monty here just graduated from HSWACA! The High School Without A Cool Acronym.
Monty: Yes. I hope to follow in my father's footsteps and join you in the battle against evil.
Major Monogram: You know, son, I've been meaning to tell you something.
Monty: Sure, Dad, shoot.
Major Monogram: Well, as you know, my father was in the agency, and what you don't know is that he pressured me into following in his footsteps. But I always wanted to be an acrobat!
Monty: So that explains...
Major Monogram: Yes, the constant acrobatic lessons you've been given since birth. You, Monty Monogram, don't have to give up my dream of becoming an acrobat. You can be anything you want to be.
Monty: But, Dad, I want to fight evil.
Major Monogram: What? After all that money we spent on acrobat training? (Perry gains an awkward expression)
Monty: I never asked for that!
Carl: Sir, I'll become an acrobat if it'll make you proud of me!
Major Monogram: Really? Hmm. (Takes Carl off for the acrobatic training but comes back to the screen) Oh, yeah, Agent P, uh, stop Doof. (Perry glares at him)


(Scene shifts to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated)
Vanessa: A video game is more important than me? That's it! I'm done! We are so over, Johnny!
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, hello, Vanessa! Let me introduce Rodrigo to you. He's starting evil science school in the fall and I'm mentoring him. I'm in mid-ment.
Rodrigo: Call me Rod.
Vanessa: Is that what your friends call you?
Rodrigo: No one calls me that. It's just that you seem rather unique.
Doofenshmirtz: So, what's wrong, Vanessa? You seem upset.
Vanessa: Nothing. It's just... Johnny, he's such a boy. I'm sick of it. No ambition, no depth...
Doofenshmirtz: You always go for the wrong type of guy, these bad-boy types.
Vanessa: Dad, perhaps you haven't noticed but you're evil.
Doofenshmirtz: Hey, there's good evil and then there's bad evil. Am I right, Rodrigo?
Rodrigo: Huh? Exactly.
(Rodrigo does a "crazy face", causing Vanessa to smile.)


(Back at the backyard)
Baljeet: So, how do we get all the leaves down, anyway?
Buford: Way ahead of you. Grab an end. (Hands Baljeet a saw)
Isabella: Buford! You can't! That's Phineas's tree. That's the tree!
Buford: Sentimentality or leaves. You can't have both.
Phineas: Au contraire. If you would kindly direct your attention to Ferb, who is modeling this "s'fall" season's fashion in rapid leaf production accelerators.
(Ferb turns the machine's handle, causing several leaves to grow and fall to the ground. Phineas, Isabella, Buford and Baljeet applaud.)
Phineas: Ooh-la-la, Monsieur Fletcher.
(Ferb turns the handle many more times, causing hundreds of leaves to grow.)

(Inside the Flynn-Fletcher house)
Candace: Anyway, Stacy, so I decided that from now on, I'm going to stop always interrupting my life with all these stu... (gasps as she sees the leaves blocking the door) Stacy, I gotta call you back. Oh I see. So they think they can stop me from seeing whatever giant project they're working on today by plastering leaves all over the door, huh? Well, it's not gonna work! A-ha! ...Um, they've built a big wall of leaves to block the door! Well, I'll just dig in here and, uh...

(Song: S'Fall (instrumental))
(The camera goes outside to show that Ferb built a leaf pile that's three times as large as their house.)
Phineas: Now that's a leaf pile.


(Back at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Doofenshmirtz pointing a pointer at a chalkboard)
Doofenshmirtz: Backstory! Backstory! Backstory! (Breaks his pointer.) The backstory is what drives an evil scientist. It is the "Why does he do what he does?" of the "What does he do?" (Accidentally throws a broken half of the pointing rod, causing a cat to yowl.) My point is, at its best, evil science is like undergoing deep Freudian analysis with a theremin constantly playing in the background.
Vanessa: Hey, guys, it's such a beautiful day. I thought maybe we could put the top down?
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, okay.
Vanessa: See, you are the best...
Doofenshmirtz: No tattoo.
Vanessa: Shoot.
(Doofenshmirtz pushes a button that opens the building's top. Perry comes in using a para-glider.)
Perry!
Doofenshmirtz: Ah, Perry the Platypus! Just in time...To be trapped!
(Perry gets trapped by a boot that looks like one of Vanessa's boots.)
Doofenshmirtz: Now that's what I call getting the boot!
Rodrigo: Wow! A real agent!
Doofenshmirtz: See, now that's a trap! I even made it based on my own daughter's fashion style. Vampire-pilgrim-scuba-diver.
Vanessa: What? Is that what you think I look lik... Wait, you made this? What size is it?
Rodrigo: Excuse me the interrupting, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, but he can get out of there fairly easy, no?
Doofenshmirtz: Well, duh, the trap only needs to hold him for just enough time for you to get through your evil scheme monologue. At that point, your nemesis escapes and the race is on! Who will win, good or evil? No one can say, except, of course, if you go by recent statistics which, it's pretty much good who wins every single time. No matter what. But, hey, if it was easy, everyone would take over the Tri-State Area, right? Every single person would be in charge and we'd be forced to, I don't know, decide the rules together by voting or something.
Rodrigo: I see. It's just that I took a few advanced trap classes in school and I was hoping to show you, the master, a few of my little ideas in the hopes that you could critique them.
Doofenshmirtz: Hmm, all right, knock yourself out.
(Rodrigo gets his bag to make a trap.)
Rodrigo: Don't worry, little platypus agent. When I'm through here, you'll no longer have to battle this inept loser anymore. Because, you see, I plan to get rid of both of you.


(Back at the Flynn-Fletcher household, Phineas, Ferb and his friends are in a hot air balloon.)
Phineas: Okay, now we've determined that the sweet spot for entering the pile is right here, at the top.
Buford: Oh, and I made gourd helmets, by the way. (Buford starts giving the gourd helmets to his friends.) Here. Here. No, wait, Baljeet, this is yours. Phineas. I like to think each individual's gourd helmet captures their unique essence in some way, you know, in gourd.
Isabella: Exactly how does this capture my essence?
Buford: Right, like that's not obvious.
Phineas: Yeah, come on. Stop kidding around, Isabella. Oh I think we're over the drop zone. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "s'fall"!
(The friends jump from the hot air balloon and into the leaf pile. The leaf pile is revealed to contain some various fun activities that the friends go to.)

(Song: S'Fall)
All the trees are ready for shakin',
Grab a rake if you're into rakin'.
Come along, it's ours for the takin'
There's a brand new season we're makin'.

All the leaves are gold and red
And the sun's still on our head.

Oh, we can have it all when
Summer turns to S'Fall.

(The camera cuts back to the exterior of the leaf pile, revealing that Candace dug to the other side of the leaf pile.)
Candace: Huh? What are they up to today? Do they really think they can escape Mom's wrath by hiding in this fun, massive, glorious, autumnal leaf pile? Well, not if I can help it!


(Scene cuts back to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, shortly after Rodrigo finished Perry's trap.)
Doofenshmirtz: Hmm, how does it feel, Perry the Platypus?
(Perry chatters)
Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, I thought so.
Rodrigo: Wait, you can understand him?
Doofenshmirtz: Oh, heck no, I usually just pretend he's talking about recent movies I've seen.
Vanessa: (Trying on Doofenshmirtz's boot trap) So, uh, you didn't by any chance make a left-boot trap, did you?
Doofenshmirtz: (scoffs) A left-boot trap? Whoever heard of such a thing?
(Perry uses the trap to push a button on his wrist communicator to alert the O.W.C.A. that he is in danger. The camera cuts back to the O.W.C.A. Monty is standing in front of a screen which is alerting the O.W.C.A.)
Monty: Uh, Dad? This looks pretty serious.
(Major Monogram and Carl doesn't notice the alarm as they're too focused on doing acrobatics.)
Major Monogram: Nonsense. The Zoondilini under swing is child's play.
Carl: Uh, should both my shoulders be dislocated from their sockets, sir?
(Monty takes matters into his own hands and leaves the O.W.C.A Headquarters.)


(The camera cuts back to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.)
Doofenshmirtz: Using my intimate knowledge of the Tri-State Area, I have installed, in two precise locations, these!
(The camera cuts to Doofenshmirtz's inator, which appears in two locations, one in a warehouse and one in a random location.)
Random person: (at a vendor) Yay! Falafel!
(The vendor opens his taco stand, only to see a part of Doofenshmirtz's inator appear from his stand.)
(Camera goes back to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated.)
Vanessa: Cool.
Doofenshmirtz: I know, huh? These massive propellers will physically dislodge the entire Tri-State Area from the Earth and raise it up into the sky where I will then pilot it around and you know, run some errands or something, and refuse to return it, until they make me their leader. (Doofenshmirtz activates the propellers, dislodging the Tri-State Area from the Earth.) Hmm. Well, that went well.
Rodrigo: Extremely well. (He pushes a button that activates a hidden trap that ties Doofenshmirtz's legs together.)
Doofenshmirtz: Is this like a robot hug for a job well done?
Rodrigo: No. It's a trap! What does that even mean, a robot hug for a job well... Who would even consider that a possibility!? I'm taking over your evil scheme, you fool! (He pushes a button that pulls Doofenshmirtz away from the controls.)
Doofenshmirtz: (screams)
Vanessa: Dad, look out! Wha... (She tries to move but she's wearing Perry's boot trap, which is attached to the floor.) Oh, you have got to be kidding me.
Rodrigo: (Explains his plan using the blackboard that Doofenshmirtz used earlier.) You see, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, I'm going to manipulate your propellers at precise angles and literally tear the Tri-State Area apart!
Doofenshmirtz: But, hey, dummy, if you destroy the Tri-State Area, what exactly will you have left to take over? Hmm?
Rodrigo: The world.
Doofenshmirtz: (gasps) Take over the world? Tha..That's crazy! That's almost left-boot-trap crazy!
Vanessa: Oh, would you get off that? Making matching boots is normal. You with the one boot, that's what's crazy.
Rodrigo: Join me, Vanessa, and together we will take over the world. I'll let you get a tattoo. I think boots should come in pairs, like people.
Vanessa: Join you? I don't work for him. That's my father, you dweeb.
Rodrigo: Well, yeah, I just thought we had a moment.
Vanessa: (scoffs) A moment?
(Perry chatters)
Vanessa: Yeah, I know. What a dip, right?
Rodrigo: No matter. Now, time to say goodbye to your beloved Tri-State Area!
(He manipulates the propellers near a 45-degree angle. He laughs maniacally. Monty comes in using a jet-pack and tackles Rodrigo. The two fight, with Monty using his acrobatic skills to fight Rodrigo. Perry activates a camera in his wrist communicator to show Major Monogram what Monty is doing. The camera cuts back to the O.W.C.A. Headquarters.)
Major Monogram: Huh? Great googly moogly! Combining fighting evil with acrobatics? Of course! It was right in front of my face the whole time. That's my boy!
(The camera cuts back to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, showing Vanessa free Perry from his trap.)


(Meanwhile, at the leaf pile, Phineas, Ferb and his friends are eating candy apples. Candace accidentally rides a slide inside the leaf pile.)
Candace: (screaming)
Buford: Gourd helmet. (Places a gourd helmet on Candace as she slides by.)
(Candace crashes in front of Phineas, Ferb and his friends.)
Candace: A-ha! I got you now! Ooooh, you are so busted! I can see that you're eating... candy apples. Not something I can bust you for.
Phineas: You want one, Candace?


(Camera cuts back to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated)
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, how about this one? (He pushes a button which frees himself.) Good. Okay, well, at least I can still go on with my plan. (He manipulates the propellers in a vertical position. He raises the Tri-State Area once again.) I should go pick up my dry cleaning before it gets too...
(Perry tackles Doofenshmirtz, in the process, dropping the Tri-State Area back to Earth.)


(Outside the Flynn-Fletcher household, the impact of the drop spreads the leaves at different places outside the house.)
Linda: (from inside) Kids, I'm home!
Candace: Mom! (Runs to her) Mom! The boys are up to something huge! I just know it! But they've hidden it within a massive pile of leaves in the backyard. Come help me sort through them for a few hours to find it! (Pulls her out)
Linda: (Sarcastically) Wow. Sounds great.
(The impact of the fight at Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated puts the propellers in a horizontal position, blowing the leaves at the backyard away, just before Candace and Linda come to the backyard.)
Linda: No leaves? No nothing?
Candace: No leaves, no nothing.
Linda: (at the boys and their friends) Do you guys already have snacks?
Phineas: We do, thanks!
Linda: (With disdain) My work here is done. (Straightens Candace's gourd helmet and leaves) Nice gourd helmets, though.
Ferb: Well, who's up for "sprummer"?


(At Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, Monty ties Rodrigo to a chair.)
Rodrigo: (grunts)
Monty: Okay, you got it from here, Agent P.
(Perry traps Doofenshmirtz and salutes Monty.)
Rodrigo: But, Vanessa, I thought you liked bad boys?
Vanessa: Eh, I'm over it. I think it's time I tried a... (She watches Monty leave using a jet-pack. Monty looks at her and smiles before leaving.) A good guy.
(Perry goes to Vanessa's side. He watches Vanessa stare at Monty as he leaves. Perry realizes what she's thinking and gives a shocked expression at the camera.)

End credits

(Song: S'Fall)
All the trees are ready for shakin',
Grab a rake if you're into rakin'.
Come along, it's ours for the takin'
There's a brand new season we're makin'.

All the leaves are gold and red
And the sun's still on our head.
Oh, we can have it all when
Summer turns to S'Fall.

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