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Norm Unleashed/Transcript

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(Scene starts up in the Flynn-Fletcher garage)
Isabella: Hi, Phineas! What'cha makin'?
Buford: Uh, sawdust machine?
Phineas: Nope. Take a look.
(Isabella looks through the microscope. From the microscope's view, several lemon yellow cube like creatures with poles and robot faces are shown.)
Isabella: Oh, they're adorable! What are they?
Phineas: They're nano-bots!
Baljeet: Nano-bots? Can they be programmed?
Phineas: Sure, they can link up in virtually infinite configurations to make just about anything you can imagine.
Buford: So, impress me.
Phineas: Okay.
(Phineas uses the nano-bots to create the words "HELLO!" and an instrumental version of Phineas and Ferb Theme plays)
Buford: Yeah, yeah, main title, whatever. But I think I see the potential. Like, you could use them to make a giant birthday paddle.
Baljeet: Or a telescope.
Buford: Or a giant birthday paddle and a regular sized cheese grater.
Isabella: Or a scratching post for... HEY!
Phineas: I'm way ahead of you Isabella.
(Phineas uses the nano-bots to make the catchphrase "Where's Perry?")


(Scene shifts to the backyard where Perry goes through the gate door then a chute that leads him to the Better Noodle Restaurant in Shanghai)

(Cut to the noodle house)
Major Monogram: Ah, Agent P. Welcome to the best noodle house in Shanghai.
(Perry chatters)
Yeah, I know it's a long haul, but the local take-out just wasn't cutting it for my sophisticated palate. I just wanna tell you what Doof is up to, but I have no idea. I've been on the plane for 17 hours, and they don't let you use your cell phones till you land, and then I realized I didn't have international coverage, so... Anyway, you should probably get back to Danville, and check on him, just in case. Don't worry, I'll bring you back some white rice and soy sauce.


(Scene shifts to the Flynn-Fletcher home)
Phineas: All right gang, let's get techno-mimetic. (pause) Let's use technology to mimic...
Buford: Why you gotta talk like that?
Phineas: You're right. Nano-bots, please.
Candace: What are you doing?
Phineas: We're making a car.
(Baljeet and Isabella laughs after Phineas zaps it)
Buford: Buford loves that!
Isabella: That's awesome!
Buford: Helicopter! Helicopter! (Phineas zaps the nano-bots and makes a helicopter) Yeah!
Isabella: Yeah!
Buford: Yes! Bigger!
Phineas: Sure! We'll just need to whip up some more nano-bots!
Candace: Mom! Mom! Mom, the boys! Garage! look!
Linda: Oh, they're making little models. How cute!
Candace: You don't understand! It was nothing, and then it was flying and.. They made it out of dust!
Linda: Oh, Candace, you're not even trying.
Candace: Okay, I need more information.


(Scene shifts to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.)
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
Norm: Welcome, Perry the Platypus. Would you like a muffin? They're fresh and yummy! Muffins stay warmest here, close to my heart. You must be here to see Dr. Doofenshmirtz! (Perry chatters) I'm sorry he's not in right... (beeping) Whoops, incoming message.
Doofenshmirtz: Well, hello, Perry the Platypus! Sorry I couldn't be there to capture you personally. I was called in for jury duty. But no big deal, I've got the perfect "get out of jury duty free" card! (Perry chatters) Relax, it's totally legit. Meanwhile, I'm leaving Norm in charge, the big lump. Hey, try to make yourself useful, Norm! Would it kill you to show some initiative?
Norm: Show some initiative? You never asked me to do that before.
Doofenshmirtz: Yeah, well, I'm out of your blast radius today, so surprise me, why don't you? Try not to be a complete disappointment.
Baliff: DOOFENSHMIRTZ!
Doofenshmirtz: Present!
Norm: Please enjoy your muffin! (Muffin traps Perry) Sorry for the inconvenience, Perry the Platypus. I'm showing initiative. When I help Dr. D take over the Tri-State Area, he will be so proud of me! Maybe then he will take me out for a game of catch! But how to do it? Dr. Doofenshmirtz makes complicated inventions which invariably fail. But I'm more results-oriented, so I'll just make a weapon!


(Scene shifts to the Flynn-Fletcher home)
(Candace stands beside the door frame of the door to the garage)
Candace: Okay. Commence Operation Concisely State What The Heck Is Going On Around Here. Notepad: check! Ducky Momo 15th Anniversary Happy Pencil: check! Keen eye and abominable will to bust: check!
(Cut to the garage)
Phineas: Okay, guys. Get ready for some Nano-bot morphing action!
(Quirky Worky Song plays)
(Phineas zaps the Nano-bots and makes a faucet)
Buford: Wow!
Baljeet: Awesome!
(Phineas zaps the Nano-bots and makes a gingerbread man and then a light bulb)
Isabella: Great idea!
(Phineas zaps the Nano-bots and makes a rowboat, a baseball cap, and the head of a pig)
Buford:Hahaha, pig face. (Candace writes on her notepad and runs to the living room where Linda is)
Candace: MOM! MOM! Phineas and Ferb are making a giant tape dispenser, but it's also a faucet, and a rowboat, a baseball hat, and gingerbread man with a fist for a head, and a pig face --
Linda: Stop. Okay, your stories are always full of holes, but it's usually just one story. Here, let me demonstrate. I'll be the "Candace" and you will be the "beautiful mother". (Clears throat)
(Imitating Candace) Mom, Phineas and Ferb have brought Genghis Khan back from the past and he's teaching the neighbors to throw hatchets from horseback. (Normal voice) You see? One story.
Candace: (long pause) They'll probably do that, you know.


(Scene shifts to the courtroom)
Judge: Juror number 9, state your occupation.
Juror number 9: I'm between jobs at the moment.
Doofenshmirtz: Ha! You'll never get out of jury duty with that story!
Judge: Dismissed!
Juror number 9: Man! I could've used this on my resume.
Judge: Juror number 10!
Doofenshmirtz: My name is Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz. My occupation..(giggles)...evil scientist!
Judge: Mad scientist!?
Doofenshmirtz: (angrily) No. No. No, not mad scientist! I'm not angry. Evil scientist. There's a difference...
Judge: Hold on, number 10. I think your background might lend a unique perspective to the case at hand. The State vs. Dr. Diminutive!
Dr. Diminutive: I didn't do it!
Doofenshmirtz: Dr. Diminutive!
Dr. Diminutive: Doofenshmirtz, it's your fault that I'm here!
Judge: (Judge bangs gavel on bench) Order!
Dr. Diminutive: He's the one who invented the Schmaltz-inator. Not me. I merely stole... I mean borrowed his device, and unleashed it's awesome power, unwittingly that is, upon the airwaves (Dr.Diminutive's lawyer slaps his face in embarrassment).
Judge: Do you two know each other?
Doofenshmirtz: I have never seen him before in my life.
Dr. Diminutive: He lies! I have proof. The 2007 L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. pudding review.
Doofenshmirtz: Why would you carry that in your wallet? Why would he carry that in his wallet?
Judge: Order! Order!
Doofenshmirtz: Would somebody please tell me why he would carry that in his wallet!?


(Scene shifts to Flynn-Fletcher home)
Candace: Okay, one story. And that one story is...
(Baljeet and the others drive out of the garage in cars made from the Nano-bots)
Candace: Cars! (Phineas's car transforms into a jet) Planes! (Baljeet's car transforms into a UFO) Space ships! Crud!!!


(Scene shifts to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.)
Norm: (Carrying a blowtorch and wearing a welding helmet) At last, my ultimate weapon is complete. Would you like to see it?
(Perry chatters)
Norm: Get ready for a surprise! It's me! Dr. D will be so proud!!! Assuming he survives the cataclysm. (flies away from Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.) Have a nice day!
(Perry uses the blowtorch to free himself from the trap)

(Cut to Norm flying above the city; Perry battles Norm throughout the song)
(Song: Weaponry)
Norm: La, la, la, la
Weaponry
It's the way to get it done
Weaponry
It's effective and it's fun!
If you want to make them fall on bended knee at your command
Bow their heads and swear that you're the leader of the land
State your wishes in a language they all understand
With weaponry
That's the plan!

If power's on your shopping list
Then use the elbow and the fist,
Pummel 'em until they get the gist
Just make an example of
Representative sample of
And most of them will not be missed

You can beat 'em up by any means
Or blow them all to smithereens!
A favorite of this sentient machine
Never mind the fatalities
Where there's municipalities
To crush a set of with the threat of

Weaponry
Will inspire Dr. D,
Weaponry
To have confidence in me!
If I'm gonna be a conqueror and win my father's love
I'll take it to the people with the eagle, not the dove
If there's one thing that obedience is symptomatic of
It's W-E-A-P-O-N-R-Y:
Weaponry!
From above!

(Scene shifts to Doofenshmirtz and Diminutive in prison)
(Dr. Diminutive plays a harmonica)
Doofenshmirtz: I'm just saying we only looked happy because we were singing. It's not a true representation of our relationship.
Norm: (In a distance from outside of the prison) Citizens of downtown Danville...
(Norm levitating in the sky above the city)
Norm: Pardon me for interrupting. You have two minutes to relinquish your city to me or see it utterly destroyed. Thank you for your cooperation.
Woman: What could we do?
Man: Utterly destroyed? That's like more than regular destroyed.
Man #2: But I just got a reservation at that new restaurant!
Woman #2: He was so jaunty when he was singing.

(Doofenshmirtz looking up at Norm from the window in his prison cell)
Doofenshmirtz: What? Weapons!? (angrily) Oh brilliant! Like nobody ever thought of that. I mean, you destroy the Tri-State Area and what are you ruler of? Rubble! And where's the panache? The je ne sais quoi?
Dr. Diminutive: He's an amateur.
Doofenshmirtz: I'm not talking to YOU!!!

(Scene shifts to Perry flying over the city skyline on his parachute)

(Perry flies down over to the Flynn-Fletcher garage and zaps the Nano-bots)


(Cut to Phineas and Ferb)
(Phineas and his friends drive down the street in cars made from Nano-bots and drives into their backyard)

(In the living room, Candace looks at Phineas and the others outside of the window and runs outside to the backyard)


(Norm levitating above the city)
Norm: Attention Danville, while your nervous scurrying is gratifying, I must inform you that you have one minute to...
(Perry creates the hind legs of a horse with the Nano-bots and uses them to kick Norm in the face)
Norm: (as he is being kicked in the face) Surrender!!!
(Perry creates a plane and flies over to Norm)
Norm: This has been delightful Perry, but I have a schedule to keep! (Fires a blast from one of his weapons at Perry)
(Perry creates a construction pipe and shoots the lethal blast from the weapon back at Norm)
(Norm catches the blast in his hands)
Norm: This is what I dreamed it would be like with Dr. D! Catch!!!
(Perry creates a baseball bat and hits the blast sending it into space)
(The blast from the weapon explodes over the Earth's atmosphere in outer space)
Norm: Thank you, Perry. That was a deeply satisfying, emotional experience. And a well timed one coming only thirty seconds before you are destroyed along with the rest of Danville. A simple matter when you employ weapons and not one of those foolish inators. (beeping) Incoming message...
Doofenshmirtz: Hey!!! Who are you calling foolish you ingrate! Boy, one successful bit for tri-state area conquest and suddenly he's full of attitude! I guess I should've expected that from a guy with a SQUIRREL FOR A HEART!!!
Norm: Deep down he really likes me.
(Perry creates a giant acorn with the Nano-bots)
Norm: A giant acorn? How is that supposed to... (the squirrel operating Norm jumps out of him and leaps for the acorn) Oh! I see what you had in mind. Well played sir. (Norm winds down and falls down to the ground) Thank you for game of Catch. (Norm appears to explode before even hitting the ground)


(Scene shifts to the Flynn-Fletcher garage)
Candace: So, you guys done changing things up around here?
Phineas: Looks like it. We left the Nano-bot programmer here and now it's gone.
Candace: So, giant glowing cars forever? And that's your story?
Phineas: And we're sticking to it...apparently.
Candace: Good! (at Linda) MOM! MOM! MOM! Heeheeheeheehee...


(Scene shifts to Danville Park)
(Perry takes the giant acorn he made from the Nano-bots and sets it down on the ground in front of the squirrel. He then salutes and uses his jet-pack to fly away. The Nano-bot programmer falls down on the ground in front of the squirrel.)


(Scene shifts to Flynn-Fletcher garage)
Linda: (has her head turned) Pie's on the table!
Candace: (With her eyes closed) Look! (Leans back on one of the cars)

(Squirrel steps on the Nano-bot programmer causing the cars to disintegrate)

Candace: (Falls backward as the car disintegrates) This is a car, mom! It just needs to...uh...uh...uh...see? (puts a clump of the Nano-bots in her hand) Vroom vroom! Okay. I'll admit, this does make me look a little bit...you know...crazy.
Linda: (Walks back inside to the kitchen) Who wants ice cream with that?


(Scene shifts to Doofenshmirtz and Diminutive in prison)
(Dr. Diminutive plays harmonica)
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, any second now something will explode on me and then we can go home. Yep, any second now.
(Dr. Diminutive continues playing harmonica)
Doofenshmirtz: Aaannny second.
(Dr. Diminutive continues playing harmonica)
Doofenshmirtz: Would you quit with the harmonica!?

End Credits

(Song: Weaponry)

You can beat 'em up by any means
To blow them all to smithereens
The favorite of the sentient machine
There's a brand new season we're makin'.

Never mind the fatalities
Where there's municipalities
To crush a set of with the threat of
Weaponry...

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