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Out of Toon/Transcript

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(Scene opens up showing the Flynn-Fletcher house.)
Phineas: Hey, Dad! Whatcha watching?
Lawrence: Oh, it's a favorite kids show from when I was a lad. Oh, they don't make this anymore.
(Song: Pinhead Pierre Theme)
Pinhead Pierre
Has the smallest head of which I'm aware
It's about the size and shape of a pear
Everywhere the children stare
Life's cruel and unfair
To Pinhead Pierre!
Pinhead Pierre: No pointing and laughing, kids! Because now it's time for another adventure of Captain Implausible!
Narrator: When we last saw our hero, the Earth was being threatened by evil space aliens.
Alien #1: Bow-chicka-wow-wow.
Alien #2: Chicka-chicka-choo-wop.
Phineas: Captain Implausible?
Lawrence: That's right! He possesses virtually every super power there is.
Captain Implausible: (Throws rocket at UFO, which blows up)
Crowd: (Cheering)
Pinhead Pierre: Wasn't that great, kids? Ya can't beat Captain Implausible. It's impossible!
Lawrence: (Chuckles) That was the best! And I happen to own the single greatest collection of Pinhead Pierre paraphernalia in all the world.
Phineas: Gosh.
Lawrence: Oh, yeah. I'm not proud.
Pinhead Pierre: Time for the question of the day. Thank you, Debbie. And the question of the day is, "If you could have one superpower, what would it be?"
Lawrence: (pauses video) You see, right there. Modern cartoon shows never ask the really big questions, do they?
Phineas: That's it! We could have as many superpowers as we want if we were cartoons! Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!
(He and Ferb jumps off the couch then runs off.)
Lawrence: (unpauses video) Oh, well, at least Perry will watch these with me. Won't you, Perry? Perry?

(Scene shifts to the backyard. An entrance opens without warning and Perry falls into a hole. Inside the chute, he reverts to agent mode then puts on his fedora. He soon enters his lair.)
Major Monogram: Morning, Agent P. I apologize for using the emergency chute and, uh, for not telling you we had an emergency chute. But there was an emergency. Shoot! (Laughs) Sorry. (Clears throat) What I'm about to say is highly classified, Agent P. The last century, the forces of good and evil have been locked in a desperate race to harness and control the limitless power of dance.
Carl: Dance! How was that, sir?
Major Monogram: You came in a little late there, Carl. Get back over there. We'll try it again. (Clears throat) Blah, blah, blah, the power of dance.
Carl: Dance! Better?
Major Monogram: Early. Anyhoo, much to our horror, it appears the side of evil has won. Have you seen the latest issue of Evil Beat! magazine? Dr. Doofenshmirtz has created a ray that causes people to dance uncontrollably. It's up to you to stop him, Agent P. But be careful. It's a known fact that no one - no one - has ever defeated evil while dancing. Good luck, Agent P.

(Back in the backyard)
Phineas: Excellent. We'll be up and running in no time. (Cow moos) Hey, sis.
Candace: Hold it right there, busters. (Truck beeping) Before I squeal on you rats, and you know I must, will you please tell me what's going on here?
Phineas: We're building an animation studio so we can make our very own cartoon show.
Candace: I thought cartoons were all made by computer.
Phineas: Yeah, that's right. This is just for show. This is where the magic happens. It's the PF-5000 Animatron. All you do is tell the machine what you want. I'd like my cartoon character to have the power to be everywhere at once. I'll be called Multi Man! And Ferb would have a utility belt and use lots of crazy gadgets. He'll be called, um, Ferb Guy.
Candace: Well, I would have super mind control and use telepathy and telekinesis to keep you super-dweebs under control with your lame-o superpowers.
Phineas: We could call you Control Freak. Come on, let's watch. (Music instrumental, whirring) We start with a few crude drawings. (Chickens clucking) We compile those into a storyboard, and it all gets fed into the computer. Then we add a little story and some pithy dialog. (Monkey screeches, Cat meows, Parrot noise) The Executron analyzes it and makes a few notes.
The Executron: Does not track. Whose story arc is this anyway? This one is not one of my favorites.
Phineas: The Artbot addresses the notes.
The Artbot: (Beeping, Glass smashing) No more notes. No more notes. (Crashes)
Phineas: Few changes are made, then it goes to timing. (Chanting) The shreds get fed into here, and somehow it all comes together here in the Animatic. Check it out. We're super dudes.
Candace: You guys are super busted as soon as I tell Mom.
Isabella: Hi, Phineas.
Buford: Whatcha do-- (Isabella elbows him) Ugh!
Isabella: Whatcha doin'?
Phineas: Come into the Phineas and Ferb Studios, and we'll show you.
Buford: Hey, Isabella, about that "Whatcha doin'?" back there-
Isabella: Up, up, up! We'll talk about it later.
Phineas: Over here is where we add sound effects. Did you know that for years, a balloon was used for the majority of sounds you hear in cartoons? Ferb will demonstrate. Ferb?
Ferb: (Ding)
(Balloon squeaking, Poke, Flying noise, Running noise, Gun shoots, Cat meowing, Gaming sounds, Clang, Drill, Drum solo)
(Ferb blows on balloon)
Baljeet: May we be in the show, too?
Phineas: Absolutely. A very wise and small-headed man once asked, "If you could have any superpower, what would it be?"
Isabella: I would harness the power of rainbows, unicorns and sweetness to defend all that is good and just. I'd become... The Rainbow.
Phineas: Wow, that's great. What about you, Buford?
Buford: It's an interesting question you pose, as it reveals not only one's impulses and desires, but one's deepest fears as well. I'll go with Belchman.
You know, fights crimes with different burps.
Phineas: Cool. How 'bout you, Baljeet?
Baljeet: Isabella took mine.
Phineas: Hmm. School seems to be very important to you. Books, being responsible and studious, getting good grades...
Baljeet: Oh! That's it! I will become Hanuman Man, a flying blue monkey that can grow as massive as he desires to crush all in his way!
Phineas: (pause) Fun choice.
That was perfect, guys. Now let's record the voices for the scene where the heroes ask the villain for help.
Candace: Phineas, I –
Phineas: Hi, Candace. You're just in time to help us record the voices.
Candace: There is no way on Earth I'd ever help you.
Phineas: Cut and print. That's why we call her "One-Take Flynn".

(Song: Ready for the Bettys)
Best thing...
Doofenshmirtz: (Singing along) ...You can do
Better be ready, 'cause The Bettys are ready for YOU!
(Traps Perry with his leg warmer)
(Laughs maniacally) Something tells me that you might have seen this month's Evil Beat! magazine, eh? Wait, wait, wait. Look. It's like there's two of me. You see? Hmm? Huh? I suppose you're wondering how I harnessed the power of dance. Well, to be honest, it was not so much on purpose. What happened was my dryer broke, so I was trying to create a ray that would instantly dry my clothes. But instead, well, look.
(Bouncy music)
Still sopping wet, by the way. Turns out anything I hit with the ray starts dancing. For instance, a dryer repairman.
Dryer Repairman: Help! I can't stop getting down! Ohh!
Doofenshmirtz: Quiet, you.
Dryer Repairman: Ah, sweet, horrible self-expression through movement!
Doofenshmirtz: So I figured as long as I invented the thing, I might as well use it to whip up a little evil.
(Perry chomps on leg warmer while Doofenshmirtz is talking)
I set it up right over there next to the– Ow! (Crashes through magazine cover; Ray charges up) Hey, you know, it cost me a lot to have that printed up! Oh! (Laser fires; Bouncy music) To add insult to injury, the platypus is leading.

(Scene shifts to the Flynn-Fletcher home)
(People chattering)
Phineas: Well, it's all up to the Animatron 5000 now. (At the kids) Hiya, kids! You can stop laughing and pointing, because now it's time for - (Pants fall) Whoops. (Kids laughing) ...The new adventures of Team Improbable!
(Crowd cheers)
Phineas: The Rainbow.
Hanuman Man
Phineas: Hanuman Man.
Multi Man
Phineas: Multi Man.
Ferb Guy
Phineas: Ferb Guy.
Belchman (belches)
Phineas: Belchman.
(Control Freak laughs evilly)
Phineas: ...Versus the Control Freak!
Control Freak: You're going down! Down, down, down!
(Control Freak zaps Team Improbable with her heat vision)
Control Freak: Ee-ee-ee-ee!

Candace: Oh, this is just out of control. Hello? Mom!
Linda: (Voicemail recording) Hi, this is Mom. Leave your psychotic rant about the boys when you hear the beep.
(Phone beeps)
Candace: Uhh! Mom, come home quick! There's a giant mob, I'm a super fiend, I'm roasting them with laser vision, and - Hey, what do you mean, "Psychotic rant"?
Pedro: Hey, look, everybody, it's the Control Freak.
Candace: Has everyone gone crazy?! (to the boys) There you are, you worms!
Phineas: Isn't the show great?
Candace: Are you joking? How could you make me the evil villain? Now everybody hates me!
Phineas: Au contraire, big sister. You're the star of the show.
Candace: I am?
Phineas: The crowd loves you.
Candace: But they're booing and hissing.
Phineas: Of course they're booing and hissing. You're the villain. Right, Ferb?
Ferb: A hero is a hero, but everybody loves a great villain.
(Booing continues)
Candace: Really? Well, maybe I should go feel the love. (Puts head out of curtains, Tomatoes splatting) Love feels a lot like tomatoes.

(Scene shifts to D.E.I.)
(Music continues)
(Doofenshmirtz kicks Perry, swinging by the ray, firing a laser hitting a mirror, causing it to dance)

(Back in the backyard)
Control Freak: Oh, you'll never get away with this! You are SO busted!
(Crowd cheering)
Buford: (Laughs) We made a killing!
Phineas: But we weren't charging admission.
Buford: Ha-ha. Ha. Well, what are ya gonna do?
(Crowd cheering)
Phineas: Come on, everybody, let's take a bow.
(Cheering continues)
Candace: They like me! They really like me! (Gets hit by a tomato) Feeling the love again.

(Back at D.E.I.)
(Bouncy music)
Doofenshmirtz: You know, I'm getting pretty good at getting down. What do you think, huh? After all, everyone knows dancing is evil! Perry the Platypus, what are you doing? Stop with the conga line. We're doing the Macarena. Perry the Platypus, where are you going?
(-inator whirring; falls off balcony)
I don't believe it! You defeated evil while dancing! Curse you, Perry the Platypus.
(-inator fires a ray; explodes)

(At the Flynn-Fletcher home, the ray hits the studio, which causes it to start dancing.)
(Crowd gasps)
(Bouncy music)
Linda: Suddenly I feel like dancing. (Stops car)
(The studio and crowd congas out of the backyard, much to Candace's surprise.)
Well, I'm here. Now where's this "giant, animation studio"?
Candace: It got up, and it danced away.
Linda: It...what?
Candace: It got up, and it, danced away.
Linda: (flatly) It got up and danced away?
Candace: See? It even sounds crazy when you say it. I'll be in my room.

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