Part 1
(Scene opens on a small green vortex coming towards the camera.)
Female Voice: (whispering) I am ashparash!
Charlene-2: (narrating) Our dimension's changed.
Male Voice: (also whispering) What's that?
Female Voice: (whispering) It's Elvish.
Charlene-2: (narrating) I feel it in the water.
Male Voice: (whispering) Yes, but what does it mean?
Female Voice: (whispering) It doesn't mean anything. It's a made-up language.
Charlene-2: (narrating) I feel it in the earth.
Male Voice: (whispering) Oh, then I want to try one.
Charlene-2: (narrating) I feel it in the little pieces of apple in my Waldorf salad.
Female Voice: (whispering) Go ahead.
Charlene-2: (narrating) Much of what once was...
Male Voice: (whispering) Sepulveda.
Charlene-2: (narrating) is lost.
Female Voice: (whispering) What?
Male Voice: (whispering) It's an exit off the 405.
Charlene-2: (narrating) For some now live who remember it the way it really happened.
(Title card.)
(A montage of scenes from Across the Second Dimension plays during the following narration.)
Charlene-2: (narrating) Like all terrible things, it started with small-minded people who became great. Victory was near. But small things can also be good, and can work against evil, like how a tiny cat hair can ruin an evil sandwich. The great empire fell and fell some more. And what was once evil melted away and was replaced by the love of a choo-choo. Soon all discovered that there was more to life than vigilance. All but one.
(The montage crossfades into a picture of the second dimension Flynn-Fletcher family. Zoom out to reveal second dimension Candace's bedroom.)
Candace-2: (voiceover) War journal entry number... Uh, I mean, Dear Diary, It's been two months since the fall of Doofenshmirtz, but every morning I think I'm gonna wake up back in the underground. I feel restless. I need a challenge. I need a mission. I can feel myself getting softer. Doofenshmirtz is in jail and everyone is trying to embrace their new freedom. I alone know better. I can feel evil still out there, getting stronger while I sit in my room, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
(Cut to the second dimension backyard. Dr. Baljeet and Buford-2 join Phineas-2 and Ferb-2.)
Buford-2: Hey, guys! I think I stepped on a slug.
Dr. Baljeet: A slug, really?
Buford-2: Wait a sec. What do you call those things that eat nuts and live in trees?
Dr. Baljeet: A squirrel?
Buford-2: Yeah. It was definitely a slug.
Phineas-2: Where's your other shoe?
Buford-2: I dunno. I must've dropped it.
Candace-2: (from her bedroom window) Hey, what's all this about the other shoe dropping?
Phineas-2: Buford stepped on a slug.
Candace-2: Okay, but be careful down there. Call me if there's any trouble. (She backs away from her window slowly, then quickly peers back out.)
Phineas-2: So how's the "summer fun" coming along, Dr. Baljeet?
Dr. Baljeet: Well, since the Phineas and Ferb from the first dimension suggested we make the most of our summer, Buford and I have been experimenting with fun, and so far...
Buford-2: So far, I'd rather be breakin' rocks for the state. But, in all fairness, I do love breakin' stuff.
Dr. Baljeet: (to Phineas-2) What about you? How have you embraced your freedom?
Phineas-2: Fortunately, we've had a little help, thanks to the coolest pet ever.
(Whip pan left to Perry the Platyborg wearing a red baseball cap smiling.)
Phineas-2: Here, boy! Fetch!
(Phineas-2 throws a stick and Perry jets into the air to obliterate it.)
Phineas-2: Cool!
Ferb-2: Any pet can fetch a stick.
(Perry-2 lands on the ground and a metallic thud is heard.)
Phineas-2: What was that noise?
Dr. Baljeet: It is some kind of metal door.
Phineas-2: (to Perry-2) Here, boy, pull the chain.
(Perry-2 pulls the chain revealing some sort of underground compartment.)
Phineas-2: Whoa!
Lawrence-2: Oh, hello, boys. I see you found my secret stash.
Phineas-2: What is it, Dad?
Lawrence-2: Well, that's what's known as "sporting goods".
Dr. Baljeet: What do you do with them?
Lawrence-2: Back in the old days, before Youknowwho, people used to use this stuff to play sports.
Phineas-2: Could we play sports?
Lawrence-2: Well, I don't suppose there's any reason to hide this stuff anymore. So, yes! As they used to say, "Have a ball!"
Phineas-2: Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! We're gonna use these goods and play a game of sports!
(Cut back to Candace-2's bedroom. Candace is doing pull-ups.)
Candace-2: (grunts) 999...
(Her vanity monitor begins beeping. She puts a lightbulb in and Major Monogram-2 appears on screen.)
Major Monogram-2: Good, you're home.
Candace-2: Monogram? Is there trouble? Do you need me?
Major Monogram-2: Hoo-hoo, stand down there. We captured Doofenshmirtz. Nothing left to resist. And it would look foolish to just stand there, resisting nothing... Well, unless you're a mime. Then it would look totally cool.
Candace-2: If there's no trouble, why are you calling?
Major Monogram-2: Oh, right! Ahem. As you know, after our agents were all captured and OWCA fell, your resistance partly operated out of our old headquarters.
Candace-2: Yeah, so?
Major Monogram-2: Yeah, well, um, now that we're trying to rebuild our spy network, I was wondering, um, where did you put the keys?
Candace-2: They're under the ceramic frog.
Carl-2: (appearing on the right side of the vanity) Oh, I love your three-monitor vanity!
Major Monogram-2: Carl will be helping me locate our animal agents so that we can—
Carl-2: (spinning around) Hey, I got my own monitor! Wee-hee!
Major Monogram-2: Carl, do you mind?
(Carl-2 ducks down.)
Major Monogram-2: Now, let's see. Where was I? Oh, yeah. (During this, Carl-2 appears on different sides of the vanity and mocks Monogram-2) So, yeah, if-if you get a chance, tell Agent P he can return to work anytime, and, uh, and if you see any other small animals, you can tell them to... Carl, why don't you go over and check the ceramic frog?
Carl-2: Yes, sir.
Candace-2: Major Monogram, do you want me to come over there and help you guys?
Major Monogram-2: No, no. Doofenshmirtz is in jail. Everything's fine. Go-Go to your picnic and relax. Dress festive, be young! Ha. You've earned it.
Candace-2: But, Major, I'm trained to—
Major Monogram-2: Leave the responsibility to us, young lady.
Carl-2: (offscreen) Look, Major Monogram, I found it!
Major Monogram-2: Carl, no! That's a real frog!
Carl-2: (offscreen) Oh.
Frog: Ribbit.
Carl-2: (offscreen) Ew!
Major Monogram-2: Yeah, I gotta run. You go have fun.
(The monitor becomes a mirror again.)
Candace-2: (sighs and gets her red shirt from a coat hanger) Well, I guess it's time to dress festive.
(Cut to the park, where Phineas-2, the gang, and the Firestorm Girls are playing a game of "sports".)
(Song: Playing a Game of Sports)
Aaron Jacob: ♪ I've got my football helmet on ♪
♪ And an old cricket bat ♪
♪ Volleyball net ♪
♪ And some cycling slacks ♪
Aaron and Danny Jacob: ♪ You've got a pair of figure skates ♪
♪ And a billiards rack ♪
♪ Dry suit, skort ♪
♪ And a baseball cap ♪
♪ We'll all have fun like mad ♪
♪ With the game we don't know ♪
Danny Jacob: ♪ Game that we don't know ♪
Aaron Jacob: ♪ It's one we've never played ♪
Aaron and Danny Jacob: ♪ And this is how it goes... ♪
Female Narrator: Once the gong is rung, the offensive team serves the pom-pom and advances down the field. The defending cyclists race past the tackling dummies and try to get into scoring position. If they manage to return the pom-pom into one of the scoring locations, they will be awarded a chance to chase the jumbo riding ball past the midfield skiing defender, while the other team tries to hit as many tennis balls as they can using golf clubs. I don't know why this guy has a canoe paddle.
Danny Jacob: ♪ Sports, sports ♪
Aaron Jacob: ♪ Sports is fun ♪
Danny Jacob: ♪ Sports, sports ♪
Aaron Jacob: ♪ In the summer sun ♪
Danny Jacob: ♪ Sports, sports ♪
Aaron Jacob: ♪ All over town ♪
♪ Touchdown! ♪
(Pan to a tree on a hill, where Candace-2 is standing and holding a bo staff.)
Isabella-2: Candace? Candace? Come in, Candace!
Candace-2: (Takes off her shades and turns around) Isabella? Oh, hey.
Isabella-2: Wait a minute, are you standing sentry?
Candace-2: (stoic) What? No. I was about to frolic down the hillside. I'm all about this whole "fun" thing.
Isabella-2: Y'know, you're not foolin' anybody.
Candace-2: Yeah?
Isabella-2: Bo staff.
Candace-2: Right.
Isabella-2: Candace, I thought you were going to take it easy. Whatever happened to that whole Jeremy Johnson thing?
Candace-2: We were supposed to go out, but things kept getting in the way. I didn't have any time. I was busy.
Isabella-2: Doing pull-ups in your room and watching your brothers?
Candace-2: I like doing pull-ups.
Isabella-2: There's no reason you can't do that, but you have to make room in your life for other things like fun and...
Candace-2: And Jeremy Johnson?
Isabella-2: Something like that. In the meantime, I'd like to introduce you to a little thing the kids are calling "ice cream". (runs down the hill)
Candace-2: "I scream?" W-What is that? Some kind of weird yelling game? (following Isabella-2)
(Cut back to Phineas-2 and the gang. A soccer ball is thrown into a bush)
Phineas-2: Nice hit, Dr. Baljeet.
Dr. Baljeet: Ha ha! I believe that makes the score six kadooms to twelve rempars.
Phineas-2: Eleven, if Perry can find the ball.
(Perry-2 takes off again. He finds the ball, but it gets squished by a metallic foot. Pan up to reveal the foot belonging to a Chihuahua-borg. The Chihuahua-borg fires at Perry-2.)
Phineas-2: Perry!
(Perry-2 pushes the Chihuahua-borg backwards and the Chihuahua-borg breaks a park bench. A bull-borg then jumps on him.)
Phineas-2: Come on, Ferb, we got to help him.
(A giant robotic leg blocks Phineas-2's way.)
Phineas-2: What the heck is that thing?!
(Cut to Isabella-2 and Candace-2. Candace-2 has a major ice cream headache.)
Candace-2: Ow! Ow!
Isabella-2: Candace, you have to eat the ice cream slowly. What is that?!
Candace-2: Giant mechanical ants! My brothers are in trouble! On your feet, kid, it's go time!
Isabella-2: There's a flying one!
Candace-2: I got it! (She fires a grappling hook at it.) Whoa!
Isabella-2: (skating past Candace-2) On your right!
(Cut back to Perry-2 and a Dog-borg fighting. A Kitty-borg also comes charging to Perry-2. Sunddenly, a Panda-borg electrocutes him by surprise.)
Phineas-2: Oh no! They got Perry!
(The giant mechanical ant stomps into the ground.)
(Cut back to Isabella-2 being chased by a flying robot. She traps the bot and one of the ant's legs comes apart. Phineas-2 and Ferb-2 run away from the ant toppling over. Cut back to Candace-2 chasing the flying ant. She destroys it and it crashes into a tree and explodes.)
Candace-2: Are you guys all right?
Phineas-2: We're fine, but cyborg animals have captured Perry.
Candace-2: The robot ants must have been a diversion. (turns on her cell phone) Monogram, we just got ambushed at the picnic. This has Doofenshmirtz written all over it.
Major Monogram-2: (on screen) Well, that's impossible. He's right here in our detention facility. I-I-I just played checkers with him. (He cheats, by the way.)
Candace-2: These giant ants didn't send themselves!
Phineas-2: Ask him about the cyborg animal agents!
Major Monogram-2: The what?! Was one of them a panda and the other one of those shaky rat dogs?
Phineas-2: Yeah, yeah, where'd they come from?
Major Monogram-2: Ah, well, I didn't want to say anything before, but we kind of lost track of some of the agents when Doof took over.
Candace-2: How many did you lose?
Major Monogram-2: Carl, hand me that roster. (Carl-2 gives him a notepad) Let's see, including Agent P... (He hums the ABC song.) ♪ A-B-C-D, hmm, hmm, hmm... ♪
Carl-2: 26, sir.
Major Monogram-2: 26!
Phineas-2: Ferb, if we can access Perry's location chip, maybe we can ambush those cyborgs and rescue Perry.
Candace-2: Yeah, no way! You guys are staying here where it's safe.
Phineas-2: Candace, we can handle this. Who was it that got past the security grid to free you from Doof's tower?
Candace-2: Okay, but take the Firestorm Girls. It could get hairy. And while you do that, I'll go find out who's behind all this.
Phineas-2: Come on, Ferb!
(Cut to OWCA's high security prison. The doors open and Candace-2 steps inside. She walks up to Doof-2's cell to see him playing with his toy train.)
Doofenshmirtz-2: Ah, Choo-Choo, look! We have company!
Candace-2: All right, Doofenshmirtz, what do you know about robotic picnic ants and a fist-full of cyborgs?
Doofenshmirtz-2: Ants at a picnic? So it's a...it's a rhetorical question, is it?
Candace-2: Don't play smart with me, villain. You're behind the attack at the park. Now, spill it!
Doofenshmirtz-2: What? You're blaming me? I-I-I've been locked up in here with Choo-Choo. Isn't that right, Choo-Choo? Yes. Yes, it is. See? H-He'll provide an alibi.
Candace-2: Don't lie to me! There's Doof-tech scattered all over that park.
Doofenshmirtz-2: Well, it wasn't me. There is, however, another Doofenshmirtz.
Candace-2: Vanessa! I knew it!
Doofenshmirtz-2: No, no, not Vanessa. She's just in high school. And she doesn't show any aptitude for evil. As a parent, I'm really disappointed. No, I'm-I'm talking about the other other Doofenshmirtz. Charlene! (whip pan to a photo of Charlene-2) ♪ Bum bum bum! ♪
Candace-2: And who is that?
Doofenshmirtz-2: Charlene Doofenshmirtz. She's my ex-wife. I-I guess you guys have never met. That kinda takes away the drama of the reveal. But it's her.
Part 2
(Scene opens on an alleyway. Peter the Pandaborg scans the area and gets the other animal cyborgs to follow him. Cut to Perry the Platyborg captured.)
Perry-2: (Chatters angrily)
(The cyborg who was once Agent D notices a metallic bone behind him. He bites at it and the bone becomes a muzzle on his mouth and gets captured underground. Cut to Ferb-2 peering out of a manhole. Cut to another area where Buford-2 scatters chicken feed and nails by a hole. The Chickenborg comes up to the feed and pecks at it. Buford-2 snatches the Chickenborg. Phineas-2, Ferb-2 and the Firestorm Girls surround the animal-borgs.)
Isabella-2: Pinky! You're alive!
(Pinky the Chihuahuaborg growls at his former owner and a blade comes out of his head.)
Isabella-2: Don't you remember me?
(Pinky-2 kicks Isabella-2.)
Isabella-2: Apparently not.
(Peter the Pandaborg comes behind them and attacks Adyson-2, Isabella-2, and Ginger-2.)
Phineas-2: We're gonna get you outta here, Perry!
(Cut back to Isabella-2 fighting Peter-2. Cut to Phineas-2 prying off Perry-2's robotic trap. Phineas-2 sits on Perry-2's shoulders and they jet off.)
Phineas-2: We got Perry! Everybody fall back!
Buford-2: Now this is as much fun as bustin' rocks for the state!
(Cut to Peter-2 catching Ferb-2 under the manhole. Peter-2 jumps into the manhole.)
(Cut to an interrogation room. Doof-2 is in the room while Monogram-2 and Carl-2 are on the other side.)
Major Monogram-2: We've had Doofenshmirtz moved to this interrogation room so Candace Flynn can question him thoroughly.
Carl-2: Are you sure he can't see you?
Major Monogram-2: It's a one-way mirror. Here, watch this. (He makes a face at Doof-2.)
Doofenshmirtz-2: You know, I can see you!
Major Monogram-2: Oh, maybe it's just that he can't hear us.
Doofenshmirtz-2: I can hear you, too!
Major Monogram-2: Huh. Maybe I just don't know how this one-way mirror thing works.
(A couple of movers walk in carrying a piece of glass.)
Mover: Comin' through.
Major Monogram-2: Oh, okay. Now I'm embarrassed.
(The glass is placed on the window.)
(Cut to the other side where Doof-2 admires his reflection.)
Candace-2: Alright, knock it off, glamour boy.
Doofenshmirtz-2: I just haven't seen a mirror for two months. Did my hair always look like this?
Candace-2: Just park your caboose in that chair.
Doofenshmirtz-2: Choo-Choo is not a caboose. It's an engine.
Candace-2: Clam it, wise guy! You know why I'm here and you better cooperate, because there are worse things than sittin' in a cold, dank prison cell with your little choo-choo train.
Doofenshmirtz-2: Like what?
Candace-2: Like sitting in a cold, dank prison cell without your little choo-choo train.
Doofenshmirtz-2: You wouldn't!
Candace-2: Try me.
Doofenshmirtz-2: Alright, I'll talk.
Candace-2: Tell me about your ex-wife, Charlene.
Doofenshmirtz-2: What do you wanna know?
Candace-2: (slams her Bo staff on the table) Where's her hideout?
Doofenshmirtz-2: Sheesh! She's got a penthouse uptown. You can't miss it. It has "Charlene" written in bright lights across the top of it.
Candace-2: How do I get in?
Doofenshmirtz-2: You would have to pass through the identification scrutinizer. Only a Doofenshmirtz can get through.
Candace-2: Lucky for us, we got one of those.
Doofenshmirtz-2: Yeah. Oh! You mean me, right?
(Cut to the Resistance's underground lair.)
Phineas-2: Dr. Baljeet, we're back and we have Perry!
Dr. Baljeet: That is great. And I think I figured out how to get this giant ant going again.
Phineas-2: Great! So everything's going to plan?
Doofenshmirtz-2: (offscreen) Hey, kids! (cut to reveal Doof-2 on a dolly cuffed and facemasked) Where do you keep the silverware?
Isabella-2, Holly-2 and Adyson-2: (gasp)
Isabella-2: What's he doing here?!
Candace-2: At ease. He's still a prisoner. I'm just using him to get into Charlene's penthouse.
Phineas-2: Wow, cool restraints.
Candace-2: Actually, he asked for this stuff.
Doofenshmirtz-2: The mask makes me sound all creepy. Here, check this out. Fava beans... Fava...
Candace-2: Okay, that's enough. Hey, where's Ferb?
Phineas-2: Oh, well, I'm sure he'd just—
Candace-2: Ugh! We don't have time to wait for him. We gotta get over to Charlene's. Phineas, Perry, you're with me.
Doofenshmirtz-2: Fava beans... Heh heh heh heh...
(Cut to:)
♪ Charleeeeeene's Nolongermarriedtodoofenshmirtz Penthoooooouuuuse ♪
Candace-2: (to Doof-2) Now, you, do what you have to do to get us in.
Doofenshmirtz-2: Okay. Okay. (He puts his hand on the scanner, then his eye in the retina scanner.) Aaahhh... (A machine scans his tongue and ear.)
Candace-2: Wow, the identity scrutinizer is really thorough.
(Cut to reveal Doof-2 scanning his butt.)
Doofenshmirtz-2: You have no idea. (Ding! The doors open) Come along, people.
(Cut to inside the penthouse.)
Vanessa-2: Uh, Mom, Tony Marzulo asked me out to the movies. Can I go?
Charlene-2: (getting her nails filed by a rat-borg) Didn't your father banish him?
Vanessa-2: Yeah, but Dad banished every boy that asked me to the movies. Besides, Dad's no longer in power.
Charlene-2: The day isn't over yet, dear.
Vanessa-2: But, Mom...
Charlene-2: I don't know. (to the Rat-borg) What do you think?
Rat-borg: (squeaks)
Charlene-2: There's your answer.
Vanessa-2: Uh, thanks?
(Cut to Candace-2 looking behind the door.)
Candace-2: Okay, fellas. There she is. Let's get her attention. (She swipes some plates off the shelf behind her with her Bo staff and the plates shatter into pieces.)
Charlene-2: What the heck is goin' on in there?!
Candace-2: (bursting through the door) We got you now, Charlene! Your evil days are over!
Charlene-2: Oh, how sweet! Do come in and thank you for returning my husband.
Candace-2: Husband? I thought you two were divorced.
Charlene-2: It was all a ruse, honey.
Candace-2: Wait, you two are pretending to be divorced? Why would you do that?
Charlene-2: Naive child, let me explain.
(Song: All the Convoluted Reasons We Pretend to be Divorced)
Charlene-2: ♪ When a dictator gets deposed, ♪
♪ And then he's thrown into the DOC... ♪
Doofenshmirtz-2: ♪ Oy vey! ♪
Charlene-2: ♪ His wife is thrown in right beside him ♪
♪ Under key and lock. ♪
♪ So to avoid a situation ♪
♪ With such limited appeal... ♪
Doofenshmirtz-2: ♪ Me and Mrs. Doofenshmirtz, ♪
♪ We struck a little deal. ♪
Charlene-2: ♪ We told everyone around us ♪
♪ We had split. ♪
Doofenshmirtz-2: ♪ Yes, we were through! ♪
♪ So, if they came to haul me off, ♪
♪ They wouldn't get her, too. ♪
Charlene-2: ♪ There's that and then there's also tax ♪
♪ Advantages, of course. ♪
Doofenshmirtz-2 and Charlene-2: ♪ All the convoluted reasons ♪
♪ We pretend to be divorced. ♪
♪ We get double the amount ♪
♪ Of discount coupons in the mail. ♪
♪ We have twice the junk to offer ♪
♪ In our annual yard sale. ♪
♪ We each have our separate bathrooms, ♪
♪ Bedrooms, living rooms, and dens, ♪
♪ We see each other all the time ♪
♪ But through a telescopic lens. ♪
Charlene-2: ♪ We don't agree on restaurants ♪
♪ Or where to holiday. ♪
Doofenshmirtz-2: ♪ But now for those activities ♪
♪ We go our separate ways. ♪
Doofenshmirtz-2 and Charlene-2: ♪ We spend so little time together, ♪
♪ Conversation's never forced. ♪
♪ All the convoluted reasons ♪
♪ We pretend to be divorced. ♪
Candace-2: Okay, I get it, you're still married. But why would you send the ants to the picnic? You had to know we'd come after you.
Charlene-2: Of course. And I also knew you would use Heinz to get in the building, bringing my husband back to me and getting you here, so I could get the drop on you.
Candace-2: A lot of convoluted reasons there, too.
Charlene-2: We've got another song! (The music starts up again.)
Candace-2: No no no, we're good. (The music warps down.)
Charlene-2: And now, children, we have prepared a nice cozy prison cell for you. (The animal cyborgs surround them.)
Candace-2: All the animal agents!
Charlene-2: Wait, you haven't seen my newest one!
(Ferb-2 walks in wearing sunglasses. He takes them off to reveal one of his eyes is now a cyborg eye.)
Candace-2: (gasps offscreen) You villain! You turned my brother into a cyborg!
Charlene-2: Ferb-borg, relieve Candace of her weapon. (to Peter the Pandaborg) Take them to the holding cell to await cyborg reprogramming. (they leave) Oh, it's so good to have a cyborg who can actually speak.
Ferb-2: Well, I usually say only one line per day.
Charlene-2: One line, really? Why?
Ferb-2: (blinks)
Charlene-2: Seriously? That was it?
Ferb-2: (blinks)
Doofenshmirtz-2: Eh. Weird kid.
Charlene-2: Well, Heinz, shall we retake over the Tri-State Area now?
Doofenshmirtz-2: Actually, I-I-I don't really wanna be an evil dictator anymore. I've got everything I need right here. (He gives Choo-Choo to Charlene-2.) My Choo-Choo, my family, this lovely penthouse, my freedom and... (Cut to outside as Choo-Choo is thrown out the window.) Choo-Choo!!! Backstory reforming... Evil returning... Aw, yeah! I'm back, baby!!!
(Cut to Phineas-2, Candace-2, and Perry-2 in solitary confinement.)
Candace-2: Ugh, I'm sorry I got you into this, Phineas.
Phineas-2: Oh, that's okay, Candace.
Candace-2: But we're gonna have to be strong. Jail is a mental game. They're going to try to break us, you'll see. Seconds become hours, hours become years, until the mere thought of freedom flutters out of our consciousness like a dying butterfly. (The cell door opens.)
Phineas-2: You're right, that did seem like forever.
Candace-2: Look! It's the Ferb-borg! Get behind me, Phineas! I'll hold him off as long as I can!
Ferb-2: (takes off his disguise) Please, Candace, you're being dramatic. (frees Perry-2)
Candace-2: What? Ferb? You're not a cyborg?
Phineas-2: Sorry we had to fool you like that, Candace, but we needed you to be convincing.
Candace-2: But why?
Phineas-2: Ferb figured that if Doof and Charlene thought that they had the leader of the Resistance and the Platyborg under lock and key, they would devote all their attention to the frontal attack. That way, we could come up from behind and—
Candace-2: Wait, what frontal attack?
(Crash!)
Phineas-2: That one.
(Cut to outside the penthouse where the mechanical ant is butting his head against the side of the building.)
Dr. Baljeet: (offscreen) That is not how to make it climb, Buford.
Buford-2: Oh, you wanna climb the building!
(The ant begins climbing up the building.)
Doofenshmirtz-2: Hey, looks like someone's comin' late to the party.
Charlene-2: That's okay, dear. I've got a little present for our unwelcome guest. (Puts a large metal capsule on her right arm.)
Doofenshmirtz-2: Wow, y-you know, Charlene, you're really on top of things here. Tomorrow, I'm taking you shopping for a new evil pantsuit.
(Cut back to outside. The ant reaches the top.)
Isabella-2: Alright, everybody! Go go go go go!
(Charlene-2 shoots a laser out of her capsule and the ant falls down.)
Isabella-2: So much for our ride home.
Doofenshmirtz-2: Wow, nice shot!
Charlene-2: (on a walkie-talkie) Attention, all animal cyborgs, attend to our guests!
(The animal cyborgs all charge out. Except for Terry the Turtleborg who slowly jogs out to tuba music.)
(Cut back to Isabella-2 and the others.)
Dr. Baljeet: All we have to do is get these magnetic deprogramming chips near the cyborgs' frontal lobes and they will no longer be evil.
Isabella-2: How do we do that?
Buford-2: (getting a fedora out of a bag) Look, we sewed 'em into these little hats.
Isabella-2: Aw, that's so cute!
(Crash!)
Isabella-2: Everyone, grab a hat! We've got cyborgs to reprogram!
(Isabella-2, Buford-2, Dr. Baljeet and the Firestorm Girls each grab a fedora.)
Doofenshmirtz-2: Now finish him off! (Charlene-2 is about to shoot but Candace-2 drops down.) Ahhh...
(Candace-2 knocks the capsule off Charlene-2's arm.)
Candace-2: Give it up, Charlene!
Charlene-2: Seems to me you're still outnumbered.
(Doof-2 runs behind a chair.)
Charlene-2: Seriously, how did he ever run this place without me?
(Cut back to Isabella-2 and the rest.)
Isabella-2: Alright, fan out! (Isabella-2 runs up to Pinky the Chihuahuaborg.)
Pinky the Chihuahuaborg: (growls)
Isabella-2: Pinky, I just wanna...
(Pinky-2 blasts at her.)
Isabella-2: Okay, so you're not a hat guy. Take it easy.
(Phineas-2 pulls a sneak attack and puts the fedora on Pinky-2. The hat electrocutes the cyborg gear and breaks it off him turning him good again.)
Pinky-2: (pants happily)
Isabella-2: Pinky! (she hugs him) Good to have you back! (kisses him)
(Cut to Candace-2 and Charlene-2)
Candace-2: Surrender or there'll be big trouble.
Charlene-2: Oh, I think I'll go with that second thing you mentioned.
(Peter the Pandaborg throws a Bo staff Charlene-2's way. Charlene-2 and Candace-2 fight.)
(Cut to Holly-2 fighting the Kittyborg. Gretchen-2 puts the fedora on the Kittyborg. Cut to the Dogborg. Ginger-2 taps his shoulder and he looks while Adyson-2 puts the fedora on his head. Cut to Peter the Pandaborg fighting Ferb. Ferb gets cornered but Perry-2 jumps in to block. Perry-2 fights Peter-2. Gretchen-2 comes in running after the Chickenborg. Cut back to Charlene-2 and Candace-2's fight.)
Charlene-2: End of the line, kid! What a shame! I'll make ya an offer. I could get rid of you right now or you could join me. You could be the leader of my cyborg army.
Candace-2: (smiling) Actually, it looks like your cyborg army may have changed their minds.
Charlene-2: Wait, what are you talking about? (Agent R-2 breaks off one of Charlene-2's fingernails.) My manicure!! (she trips over a piece of equipment) Whoa!
Candace-2: It's all over, Charlene. (The reformed animal agents surround her.) Now surrender.
Charlene-2: Ha! (presses a remote causing another capsule to come out of the floor) A Doofenshmirtz never surrenders! We fight until the last man!
Doofenshmirtz-2: Hey, wait a minute! I'm the last man! D-Don't I get a say in this?
Charlene-2: Oh, come on, honey. It'll be fun.
Vanessa-2: Alright, hold it! Everybody just stop! (opening the animal agents like a door) Excuse me. (to Candace-2) Can I talk to my parents? Listen, Mom, Dad, come here. You guys, I'm only gonna say this once. (breathes) RUN!!!
(Cut to Peter the Pandaborg coming out of the rubble. The Doofenshmirtzes escape on a hovercar and Peter the Pandaborg grabs onto the end.)
Vanessa-2: Mom, Dad, this is Tony Marzulo.
Tony: Hey, Mr. and Mrs. D.
Doofenshmirtz-2: Hey, didn't I banish you?
Charlene-2: Yeah, honey, you did, but nobody saw it.
(Cut to the backyard where a reunion for all the OWCA agents is being held.)
Candace-2: Academy graduates, Doofenshmirtz is still out there and no doubt he's planning a comeback. But so are we. We now have you, the animal agents of OWCA, who will, without a doubt, prevail. So as I step down from my position as head of the Resistance, (Monogram-2 and Carl-2 react to this in fear) I congratulate you all and wish you luck.
Major Monogram-2: Whoa, wait! You're stepping down?
Candace-2: It's okay, Major. You've got your animal agents back. I think you can handle it.
Major Monogram-2: But...
Candace-2: Don't worry. (She gives Monogram-2 her Bo staff.) If you ever get in a pinch, you know where to find me. Now if you'll excuse me, there's something I've been putting off that I need to take care of.
Major Monogram-2: Where is she going?
Isabella-2: Unless I miss my guess, I'd say she's making room in her life for other things.
(Cut to a wide shot of Candace-2 walking up to Jeremy-2, who is doing pull-ups.)
Jeremy-2: 15...16...17... (Candace-2 joins him) 18... Hey!
Candace-2: Hey, yourself.
End credits
Charlene-2: ♪ We told everyone around us ♪
♪ We had split. ♪
Doofenshmirtz-2: ♪ Yes, we were through! ♪
♪ So, if they came to haul me off, ♪
♪ They wouldn't get her, too. ♪
Charlene-2: ♪ There's that and then there's also tax ♪
♪ Advantages, of course. ♪
Doofenshmirtz-2 and Charlene-2: ♪ All the convoluted reasons ♪
♪ We pretend to be divorced. ♪
♪ We get double the amount ♪
♪ Of discount coupons in the mail. ♪
♪ We have twice the junk to offer ♪
♪ In our annual yard sale. ♪
♪ We each have our separate bathrooms, ♪
♪ Bedrooms, living rooms, and dens, ♪
♪ We see each other all the time ♪
♪ But through a telescopic lens. ♪