(Scene begins showing the town. Someone is wailing in the distance. Cut to the backyard, Phineas dislikes it so much that his face cringes up.)
Phineas: Okay, what the heck is that sound? Come on, Ferb, I know what we're not gonna do today: we're not gonna figure out what we are gonna do today as long as that noise keeps up. (he, Ferb, and Perry leave)
Candace: (slams open her window) If you don't stop that racket, I am so gonna bust you... empty... backyard?
(The wailing stops.)
Stacy: (closes window) Candace, stop trying to bust your backyard.
(Candace's cell phone rings)
Candace: (rushingly picks up her cell phone) Jeremy! Yes? Yes! We'll see you in a bit. Thanks. No, you get off the phone- (phone disconnects) Hello?
Stacy: So, what's the scoop?
Candace: Jeremy just invited us to his friend's concert!
Stacy: Oh, I don't know... Lately I've been feeling like a third wheel around you guys.
Candace: What? No. I always saw it more like Jeremy and I were two wheels, and you were separate, on a unicycle all "Doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo..." Wait a minute! I just thought of something. Jeremy's never given me a nickname! (gets a chart with Jeremy's faces from under her bed) I refer you to... The Chart. (points at the chart)
Stacy: Oh, goody. The Chart.
Candace: See, Jeremy only calls me "Candace," and nothing else. When a guy makes you his girlfriend, he comes up with a nickname for you. A pet name like, "baby," "honey," "Peg-Leg Pete!" His own personal stamp!
Stacy: Maybe you should just let whatever happens happen. You know, naturally.
Candace: (scoffs) Naturally? (the wail starts again.) Where is that coming from?

(Cut to:)
Phineas: Baljeet's house? For such a mild-mannered kid, we wind up here for a lot of weird reasons. (Ferb is shown with fingers in his ears.) Ah, I wish I had some earplugs. (Ferb holds up a dual earplug shaped like fingers.) Thanks dude! (cut to Baljeet's room, where he is holding a guitar and facing the wall.) So, uh... What up 'jeet?
Baljeet: Oh, uh... Hello my friends, I did not hear you come in.
Phineas: Is everything okay?
Baljeet: If by okay, you mean that my life is a meaningless, black cauldron of swirling failure... then yes, everything is groovy.
(Ferb puts his earplugs back in.)
Phineas: That's not at all what I meant by "okay."
Baljeet: I signed up for a class called "Summer Rocks," believing it was a geology course. It turned out to be a rock-and-roll camp, and no matter how hard I study, I just do not rock! I could actually get an e- (tries to say "F") an- Oh, I cannot even say that terrible letter. ineas! erb! What am I going to do?
Phineas: Well, that was an interesting sound you were getting out of your guitar. I think you'll be just fine!
Baljeet: That was not my guitar. That was me. I call it "The Fail Wail." (begins wailing again)
Phineas: Baljeet. Baljeet! Whoa! Hey! (Baljeet stops wailing.) Thank you. We can show you how to rock!
Baljeet: Really?
Phineas: Absolutely. Hey, I think the Fail Wail scared Perry off!

(cut to Perry entering his lair through a tube; he comes out next to an usher.)
Usher: Ticket, please. (Perry hands him a ticket) Right this way! (guides Perry to his chair) Enjoy the show.
(Perry's screen shows a black-and-white film, set to ominous music, with close-ups of ticking clocks and outdoor settings before finishing with a shot of Major Monogram crying.)
Major Monogram: Evil... wait... You... await... Evil... awaits...
Carl: (offscreen) Cut, cut!
Major Monogram: Oh, come on! (to Perry) Sorry, Agent P. Carl's been taking some film classes and now believes I'm stifling his creativity as my cameraman.
Carl: (pats Monogram with a makeup sponge) Camera artist.
Major Monogram: Seems Dr. Doofenshmirtz has been buying baby supplies all over town. One could only imagine what he's doing. Two can discuss it between themselves; more than two is frankly a waste of our resources. Good luck, Agent P! (Perry leaves)
Carl: Okay, once more with feeling!
Major Monogram: The agency isn't paying for these classes, are they Carl?

(back at Baljeet's house)
Baljeet: I have read every book on the history of rock music.
Phineas: Gosh, Baljeet, rock and roll isn't about books! It's about letting go and having fun! Rock and roll is a way for you to tell the world how you feel!
Baljeet: Feel about what?
Phineas: Expressing yourself! I mean, what do you do when you're angry?
Baljeet: Math.
Phineas: ...Okay, well, what about when you're sad?
Baljeet: Math!
Phineas: Happy?
Baljeet: Ma-ath!
Phineas: So every feeling you have makes you want to do math?
Baljeet: I do not know if it is so much cause and effect. I do a lot of math! The feelings come and go.

(at the Summer Rocks stage)
Stacy: What kind of concert is this?
Candace: It's the "Summer Rocks" graduation concert. Jeremy's friend Coltrane is an instructor. (spots Jeremy and Coltrane talking) Look, there they are!
Stacy: That's Coltrane. He's really cute!
Candace: Hmm, I guess he is. Hey, wait a minute... You like Coltrane!
Stacy: Well, I've never actually talked to him before, but...
Candace: Quick, what should we do? Hide? No, wait, pretend you're a talent scout. Ooh, here! I think I have a fake mustache on me!
Stacy: Let's just go over and say hi. (leads Candace over to the two boys, who are talking)
Jeremy: (to Coltrane) What do you think it means when a girl leaves a fake mustache at your house?
Candace: (walking up with Stacy) Hi guys!
Jeremy: Hey gals!
Candace: Ha! "Gals." Yeah, that's me, "the gal." Gosh, when did you start calling me that?
Stacy: (to Coltrane) Hi, I'm Stacy.
Coltrane: Hey, how ya doin', Stacy? I'm Coltrane.
Stacy: I like your hair.
Coltrane: Thanks. I like your bow. Let me show you round.
Stacy: Cool! (the two of them leave)
Jeremy: Heeey, Coltrane and Stacyyyy... that was easy. (Candace glares at him) What?

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
(Perry emerges from a teddy bear and an alarm goes off. The Nanny-inator enters, grabs Perry, powders and diapers him, and drops him in a playpen)
Doofenshmirtz: Awww, congratulations, it's a platypus! (laughs) What do you think of my new Nanny-inator? Nice, huh? (pushes a rocking chair up to the playpen) You know what time it is? Evil story time! (sits down) See, I wrote my new evil scheme (holds up a book titled "My Evil Plan") in pop-up book format. Once upon a time, yesterday, like a quarter to six, (opens book to page of Doofenshmirtz sitting in front of a TV) I was watching a nature documentary, and I learned how before a baby's born, its constant companion is the soothing, steady beat of its mother's heart. Even after it's born, the sound of the mother's heartbeat (turns page to a happy mother holding a baby) continues to be a safe, calming beacon to a growing child, (turns page to an annoyed mother holding a grown man) in some cases up until their early thirties. Suddenly, I was struck with a brilliant idea: (turns page to a skyline with Doofenshmirtz's heart making a loud "BUM BUM BUM" sound) to project the sound of my own heartbeat across the city, causing all the babies to believe that I am their leader! Like the Pied Piper, except... with babies, (turns page to Doofenshmirtz leading a baby army) I will have a mighty baby army, a-and no one would fight back, 'cause, you know... they're babies! (turns page to Doofenshmirtz reading to Perry with the Nanny-inator and Bum-Bum-inator, a giant heart, behind him) Finally, the time came for me to tell you my evil plan in pop-up book form, and I- Oh, I- I'm sorry, the- the book seems to have caught up to us in real time, heh-heh. Anyway, behold! The Bum-Bum-inator!

(back at Baljeet's house)
Phineas: Rock's not about getting good grades and following the rules; it's about rebellion! It's about using music to express your true feelings and emotions! Just play how you feel! (Baljeet plays a single chord) Baljeet, that's- that's just an A chord.
Baljeet: I feel like I want an A!
Phineas: This is gonna be harder than we thought.

(at the Summer Rocks stage: Stacy and Coltrane are sitting at a picnic table, and Coltrane is playing bass)
Stacy: Do you think you could teach me how to play the bass?
Coltrane: Let's see if you have big bass player hands. (they hold up hands to compare sizes)
Candace: (from a bush, trying to imitate a bird) Bu-GA! Bu-GA! Ooka-ooka-ooka-ooka!
Stacy: Uh, excuse me for a second. (Candace repeats her "bird call") I have to go talk to my friend in the bushes.
Coltrane: Cool! I gotta go get this show started. Save me a dance?
Candace: (still in the bush, still making her "bird call") Koo-koo-koo-koo-kooooo! Ki-KA! Ki-KA! (Stacy walks up to her) Ooka-ooka-ooka-ooka! Eega-eega-eega!
Stacy: What are you doin'?
Candace: How's it going with you and Coltrane?
Stacy: I think it's going really well! He asked me to save him a dance!
Candace: He did? What do you think he meant by that?
Stacy: I'm pretty sure he meant he wants to dance with me.
Candace: Hmmm. Men and their impossible endless riddles!
Stacy: So how's it going with you? Has Jeremy nicknamed you yet?
Candace: No...
Stacy: Maybe Jeremy just isn't the kind of guy who nicknames people.
Candace: Huh. You could be right.
Stacy: Look, here he comes now!
Jeremy: (greeting people as he passes them) Yo, T-Bone! Hey, Clammo! What up, Sassy Miss K? Momo! Binkie... (reaches Stacy and Candace) Hi Candace, where you been?
Stacy: I'll, uh... I'll see you later.
Jeremy: Catch ya later, Staceroo. (Candace glares at him again) What?

(Cut to the start of the concert. A bicycle-driven limo pulls up to the concert and driver Ferb opens the door; Phineas, Buford, Baljeet, and Ferb emerge, and the limo pulls away, to Ferb's bewilderment. Baljeet watches the opening performer, Django, playing violin on stage, wearing a Scottish kilt)
Baljeet: Ohhhh, I do not know about this!
Phineas: You'll be great! Just remember what we practiced: follow the beat and let your feelings out through the music!
Baljeet: I am about to let my feelings out through these pleather pants!

(back at D. E. I.)
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, I'm almost ready, Perry the Platypus. (pointing to a heart monitor on his wrist) This monitor takes my pulse and transmits it to the Bum-Bum-inator, which will then broadcast my heartbeat to all the babies in the Tri-State Area. See? (the Bum-Bum-inator begins beating.) You might say I'm wearing my sleeve on my... I- I mean my heart is wearing, uh... Never mind, whatever, you get it! Ah-ha-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!! (raises the Bum-Bum-inator through the roof, broadcasting the heartbeat)

(at the Summer Rocks stage)
Coltrane: And now, the band you've all been waiting for: The Baljeatles!
Phineas: (hears the heartbeat and mistakes it for a drumbeat) Hey, cool beat, Buford.
Buford: Uh... thanks? (Begins mimicking the beat; Phineas and Ferb start playing as well. Baljeet peeks around the curtain from backstage.)
Coltrane: What's up, Baljeet? Your band is waiting for you onstage.
Baljeet: I can't do it! I just do not know how to rock! I know I am going to get a bad grade!
Coltrane: Wait, what are you talking about, "grades"? This is Summer Rocks! There are no grades.
Baljeet: No grades? Oh, so it is pass/fail?
Coltrane: No! We use a free-floating curriculum to encourage kids to just... rock out and have fun!
Baljeet: (outraged) I do not believe this! I wasted all this time in a class without grades?!? Aohhhhh! If only there were some other kind of outlet for me to express these feelings to my like-minded peer group! (comes to a realization) Pardon me! I want to try something!

(Song: "Gimme a Grade")
Baljeet: Oh yeah! I have got something to say!
I have been burned by vague lesson plans and a free-floating curriculum!
I like my rules, baby, etched in stone, 'cause you know I am going to stick to them!
Baljeet and Phineas: Can I get a syllabus, a little discipline? Judge me on a scale from A to F!
Baljeet: You wasted all my time learning how to rhyme, then left me hangin' from a treble clef!

Baljeet: Somebody gimme a grade!
Phineas and Ferb: (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!)
Baljeet: I need the man keeping me down!
Somebody gimme a grade!
Phineas and Ferb: (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!)
Baljeet: Is there a red pen in this town?
Somebody gimme a grade!
Phineas and Ferb: (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!)
Baljeet: I already said it, I need some extra credit today!
Phineas and Ferb: (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!)
Baljeet: And make it an A!

(at D. E. I.)
Doofenshmirtz: Okay, now to relax and keep my heart rate slow and steady, you know, 'cause too much excitement would cause my heart to beat too fast and short out the Bum-Bum-inator.
(Perry squirts milk from a baby bottle into his diaper, setting off the alarm and summoning the Nanny-inator)
Nanny-inator: Change time! Change time! (Perry jumps on the Nanny-inator's arm when it reaches for him, climbs out of the cage while the Nanny-inator accidentally breaks itself, and tackles Doofenshmirtz, who grunts while his heart rate rises, causing the music to speed up as well. Perry chases Doofenshmirtz around the room.)
Doofenshmirtz: Perry the Platypus, stop chasing me; I'm supposed to keep my heart rate down!

(back to Summer Rocks)
Baljeet: Oh, I am so upset!
I am stone cold, honor roll,
I won't be told how to vent!
Phineas, Ferb and Baljeet: I won't cry or sigh, I'm here to testify,
Up with the establishment!

Baljeet: My parents understand me, put conformity inside of me which I can help the system out!
I ain't gonna waste my summer taking beatings from my drummer,
Put a mic in front of me and I'll shout!

Gimme a grade!
Phineas and Ferb: (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!)
Baljeet: You know I'm gonna wreck the curve!
Somebody gimme a grade!
Phineas and Ferb: (Somebody give me a grade, somebody give me a grade!)
Baljeet: The only letter I deserve!
Somebody gimme a grade!
Phineas and Ferb: (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!)
Baljeet: This isn't a request, I demand there be a test today!
Phineas and Ferb: (Somebody gimme a grade, somebody gimme a grade!)
Baljeet: Gimme a grade!

(as the final instrumental section of the song commences, Perry continues to chase Doofenshmirtz, who looks at his heart rate monitor)
Doofenshmirtz: Uh oh. Not good. (the Bum-Bum-inator shorts out and flies across the sky, yanking Doofenshmirtz along with it) CURSE YOU, PERRY THE- (passes over the Summer Rocks stage) Wait, is that the Baljeatles?

(the Bum-Bum-inator explodes into fireworks, the song concludes, and Candace falls into Jeremy's arms while dancing)
Candace: Just call me "Can't-Dance Flynn."
Jeremy: (laughs) Okay, that's your new nickname.
Candace: Wait, what? No! I'm not supposed to nickname myself! You're supposed to come up with it! (starts crying) You don't even care enough to try!
Jeremy: Hey, wait a second! I call you Candace, but not because I don't care enough to come up with a cute nickname for you! I call you Candace 'cause... I happen to really like that name.
Candace: You do?
Jeremy: Of course I do! 'Cause it's your name. (they hug)
Stacy: (standing next to Coltrane) That was easy. (they look down and see that they're holding hands, then smile at each other)

(on stage)
Phineas: Well, Baljeet, if it means anything, I'd give you an A+ in rock.
Baljeet: No. That means almost nothing.