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Tree to Get Ready/Transcript

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Doomed We are doooomed!!


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(Scene opens up showing a sky view of the backyard).
Ahh, ahh
Game Announcer: Get ready! Round 1! Fight!
Stacy: (Laughs) You're going mine, meat!
Candace: What? You want a piece of me?
Stacy: Uh uh, I want the whole thing, baby.
(Both laugh)
Linda: So, what are you young ladies doing?
Candace: Wrestling, Mom. Favorite game.
Linda: Well, I'll just be running a few errands. First, I'll get the groceries, then to the florist, and then to the car wash.
Candace: Okay, whatever. Kinda busy right now.
Linda: Call if there's any trouble.
Candace: With my brothers, I'd might as well call now.
Phineas: Huh. You're right, Ferb. I guess it would make a sound. Say, where's Perry?


(TV Static)
Major Monogram: There you are, Agent P. It has come to our attention that all pigeons have left the Downtown area. Of course, on the upside, I haven't washed my car in weeks. (Clears throat) We can, uh, only assume that Dr. Doofenshmirtz is involved. You know your mission.
Perry!


Phineas: That about does it.
Isabella: Hey, guys! Whatcha doin'?
Phineas: We remodeled our old tree house. What do you think?
Isabella: Oh my gosh! Wow.
Phineas: Come on, check it out! This is the main crib.
Isabella: Sweet!
Phineas: Let's take the tube to the top.
Isabella: Tube?
Phineas: Sure. It's the fastest way up.
Isabella: Are you sure about this?
Phineas: Relax. We haven't missed yet.
Isabella: Really?
Phineas: Yeah. You're our first passenger.
Isabella: What?
Phineas: Woo-hoo!
Isabella: (Screams while zooming through the life ring tube. Finally, she lands at the top) Awesome.
Phineas: Let 'er rip.
Isabella: Ah! (Thud)
(Everyone laughs)
Phineas: Check out the view. Pretty sweet, huh?
Isabella: No doubt. What's that?
Phineas: Oh, that's just Candace's old tree-house. She doesn't use it anymore.
Isabella: Well, that's just sad.
Phineas: Hey, what if we gave it a makeover?
Isabella: Sure! Something more...well, I don't know...Candace!
Phineas: Yes.


Doo be doo be doo ba, doo be doo be doo ba
Doo be doo be doo ba
(Tires screech)
Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.!
(Suspense music, Zapping; Snapshot)
Doofenshmirtz: Very clever, don't you think, Perry the Platypus? (Sips drink, then spits it out) Perry the Platypus?! (at some pigeons) Get him! Stop him! He's headed for that clearly marked exit! (Candace loses to Stacy again)

Game Announcer: Winner! Winner!
Candace: (Growls)
Phineas: Attention, Candace! Come to the backyard! We have a surprise for you.
Candace: What's going on now?
Phineas: Hey, Candace. Check out your old tree house. I think you're gonna like it.
Candace: (Gasps) No way! I better call Mom.
Stacy: Oh, don't be such a fuddy-duddy, Candy. Come on, let's check it out!
Candace: I don't know, Stacy. I think they're up to some-- Whoa! This is so weird. I can't believe it's my old tree house. Carpets, furniture, entertainment center. I mean, look at all the bells and whistles. Maybe my brothers have been replaced by aliens.
Stacy: Yeah, and now they're gonna fatten you up so they can eat ya!
Candace: I can't believe they did this all for me.
Phineas: (On speaker) You may begin bouncing.
Candace: Bounce?
Stacy: (Laughs) Come on! Bounce!
(Both laughing)
Both: Woo-hoo!
(Phone rings)
Candace: Hello?
Phineas: What do you think of your new tree house?
Candace: I love it! You thought of everything.
Phineas: It gets better. Try pressing the THF button.
Candace: THF? What's that? Some sort of sound system?
(Stacy presses a red button, reading "THF". The tree house slowly transforms into a robot)
Candace: Uh, Phineas? What does THF stand for?
Phineas: TREE HOUSE FIGHT!!!
Stacy: (Laughs) This is so rad! (With Candace) Oh snap!
(Phineas and Ferb's treehouse transforms as well)
Tree house: I'm takin' you down!
Candace/Stacy: AAAAAH!


Doofenshmirtz: You see, Perry the Platypus, you are no match for my pigeons. I have conditioned their tiny, little bird brains to do whatever I say, by using my brand new very evil invention called: The Poop-Inator. (At Vanessa) Vanessa, please. Thank you. (At Perry) (Stammers) You two have met, right? Vanessa, Perry the Platypus. Perry the Platypus, Vanessa.
Vanessa: Yeah, hey. How's it goin'?
Doofenshmirtz: Observe! With this, I can implant the target image on their tiny, little brains in a flash!.(Zap)
(Pigeon cooing)
It-- It works better from a distance. Anyway, today at Town Hall, they will award the key to the city to My-Goody-Two-Shoes-Brother Roger. Oh, how I loathe him.
Vanessa: I like Uncle Roger.
Doofenshmirtz: Thank you, Vanessa, but I don't believe I was talking to you. Is your name Perry the Platypus? No, I don't think so.
Vanessa: (Sighs) I so should have gone to Summer school.
Doofenshmirtz: I will not be attending the ceremony, but my pigeons will be there to rain on his parade! (Laughs) You see, Perry the Platypus, my brother Roger is at the very top of a very long list of people I despise. (At Vanessa) Vanessa, music please.
(Vanessa presses a remote which turns on a stereo. Doofenshmirtz puts on a boater hat and begins to sing)
(Song: "My Goody Two-Shoes Brother")
I bear lots of animosity to bellhops, they never bring my luggage up on time
And taxi drivers really tax my patience
If they vanished, would it really be a crime?
I don't like meter maids or underwater welders, health fanatic cooks or camera crews
Not fond of monks or yoga teachers, or sports fans in the bleachers
And I'm not sure how I'm feeling about you
There are lots of horrid people on this planet
That I would like to give a lashing to

But my goody two-shoes brother, the favorite of my mother
Is the one I want to smother in a ton of pigeon goo
Yes, my goody two-shoes brother, the favorite of my mother
Is the one I want to smother
Thank you sir, I'll have another!
He's the one I want to smother
In a ton
Of
Pigeon
Goo!
You see, you see how I held that last note, good, huh?


Phineas: Tree house fight!
Candace/Stacy: Bring it on, maggots!
Fireside Girls: Aw, yeah, let's go!
(Bell rings)
Candace: Now what?
Stacy: Look! The controls are just like the video game! Let's show 'em our mad skills. Woo-hoo! Let's dance, dweebs!
Phineas: Hey, stop leading!
Candace: You stop leading. Give him the twister! Fight! Score!
Phineas: Hit the crash button!
(Crash)
Candace: YES!

Stacy: Well done, Candirocks.

Candace: Let's nail 'em!
Phineas: Come on, Ferb. The enemy is upon us! Man the cannons!
(Cannon comes out)
FIRE!
(Cannon fires)
Candace: Uh oh. Yow! What now?
Stacy: Try pulling some levers.
Candace: Yipe!
(Water balloons firing)
Phineas: Incoming!
(Water splashing)
Candace/Stacy: Yeah!
(Water flooding)
Ew!
Phineas: Egad, man! It's an end run around the middle! Summon retreat!
Ferb: (Salute and playing bagpipes)

Linda: Hmm. That's funny. I haven't gotten the usual call from Candace. (Phone beeps)

Phineas: Come and get me! (Horse neighing)
(Cell phone rings)
Linda: (On phone) Candace, honey, I'm at the carwash, and I'm heading home very soon. Bye bye.
Candace: Oh no!
Phineas: Phineas and Ferb to Robo-Girls; Last one home is a big old purple pickled egg!
Ferb: (Imitates chicken clucking noise)


Doofenshmirtz: Ah, the award ceremony. And there's my insipid brother Roger. What? Oh, let's see if I've got another coin. Now, what was I saying-- Oh! I despise him so much. You are about to witness a truly petty act of vengeance, Perry the Platypus, brought on by my own mindless jealously. (At Vanessa) Vanessa, fire the harpoon!
(Vanessa shoots the harpoon)
Doofenshmirtz: Perfect. The time has come! Do not fail me, my pigeons!
(Trumpet playing)
Roger: Ladies and Gentlemen, as the most handsome and charming man in all the Tri-State Area, I hereby promise to keep our city clean.
Crowd: (Applause and cheering)
Doofenshmirtz: Pay attention and learn something, Perry the Platypu-- Wait, wait! Where's Perry the Platypus? He's escaping, WITH THE POOP-INATOR!
(Perry takes out the chip out of the Poop-Inator. He grabs the chip from his fedora, puts it in the Poop-Inator, and then shoots the Poop-Inator at the pigeons.)
(Pigeons cooing)


Stacy: Whoa!


Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Uh oh. This is not going to end well for me, I'm afraid.
Vanessa: That's what you get for using a bunch of stupid pigeons.
Doofenshmirtz: Wait for me!
(Elevator bell)
Hold the door, please.
(Pounds door, Elevator bell)
Come on, come on, come on, come on!
(Pigeons cooing)
(Doofenshmirtz screams and runs for his life when the pigeons chase after him)


(Car revving; Crashing)
(Phineas, Stacy, and Candace giggling)
Fireside Girls: Woo-hoo! Way to go! Yeah! Awesome!
Phineas: (Laughs) We beat ya. You're both big old purple pickled eggs!
Stacy: You were out of your tree.
Candace: Yeah, we were first.
Phineas: Nuh-uh, we were.
Candace/Stacy: We were.
Phineas: We were.
Linda: Looks like you're having fun.

Phineas: Well, Mom, you know what they say.
Candace/Stacy: (Shoots water balloon)
(Splat)
Ferb: Fun never falls too far from the tree house.
(Splat)

End Credits

(Song: "My Goody Two-Shoes Brother")
Doofenshmirtz: Yes, my goody two-shoes brother, the favorite of my mother
Is the one I want to smother
Thank you sir, I'll have another!
He's the one I want to smother
In a ton
Of
Pigeon
Goo!
(Doofenshmirtz walks out of his building covered in pigeon poop. A few people who sees him scream and run)
You see, you see how I held that last note, good, huh?

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