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Undercover Carl/Transcript

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(Phineas and Ferb are sitting under the tree when suddenly an apple falls and hits them on the heads)
Phineas: Haha, gravity. Hm, I wonder if there's any way around that.
Candace: What are you guys doing?
Phineas: Well, right now we're just thinking about defying gravity.
Candace: Please, even you can't change the law of gravity. It's a universal law, like "You can't wear white after Labor Day".
Phineas: An absolute law without a hope of appeal? That's despotism! Somebody oughta- Hey, that's it! I know what we're gonna do today! Hey, where's Perry?
Candace: Right here.
Phineas: Oh, I didn't see him there.


(cut to O.W.C.A.'s headquarters)
Major Monogram: Carl...
Carl: One minute, sir! Just finishing my status update. "Carl's interning like there's no tomorrow!" Done.
Major Monogram: Carl, I just completed your intern evaluation report. You've earned a gold star in every category except one. You need to show more initiative.
Carl: Sir, I've never gotten less than a gold star in my whole interning life.
Major Monogram: Well, I do have 24 hours before I have to submit my evaluation. Prove that you can show initiative and that gold star is yours.
Carl: I'll start right now by triple-checking the chattosphere for suspicious activities.


(cut to the Flynn-Fletcher house)
Phineas: Hey, Ferb. Nice job on the blueprint for our Anti-Gravity Fun Launcher. I just posted it on our website so Baljeet can check the math. (phone rings) Hey, Baljeet, that was fast.
Baljeet: Your blueprints are 97% accurate. But you accidentally placed a cosine where you needed a quadratic differential! (laughs) Not to worry. I fixed it. I will send an attachment.
Phineas: Excellent.


(cut to:) Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc.!
Doofenshmirtz: There's absolutely nothing going on today.
Norm: Have you finished that puzzle yet?
Doofenshmirtz: No, I lost the stupid box lid. Now I can't figure out how to solve it.
Norm: Then you could finish building me a bride out of icicle-pop sticks like you promised.
Doofenshmirtz: I'd like to help you out, Norm. Really. But look at my tongue. (his tongue is blue) See? Look at that. My doctor said no more blue raspberry icicle-pops until the blue dye flushes completely out of my system.
Norm: Why must I be alone?
Doofenshmirtz: I don't know. Why are raspberry icicle-pops blue? (Norm kisses the icicle-pop stick bride) And I know what you are doing, Norm! You're a sick, sick robot! I need a really evil scheme. But-- Oh, it's so hard to create when I'm in one of my moods. (uses computer) Maybe I can borrow someone else's plans from the Internet. (types; sees blueprints) Blueprints, and...search. Ooh, an Anti-Gravity Fun Launcher! How about the Anti-Gravity Evil Launch-inator? There. I changed the name, that makes it mine. This could be the greatest scheme ever!

(cut to the lab at O.W.C.A. headquarters)
Carl: (gasps) Doofenshmirtz just downloaded a blueprint. (reads the blueprint) "Anti-gravity fun launcher"? Sounds fishy. Let's run it through the anagram decoder. (sees the words "Evil Fanatic Hunt R Raygun" on the screen; gasps) Major Monogram!
Major Monogram: You don't have to yell. I'm right here.
Carl: Doofenshmirtz just downloaded these plans for an anti-gravity fun launcher. But when I run that through the anagram decoder, the letters form "Evil Fanatic Hunt R Raygun".
Major Monogram: Looks like you're missing an E.
Carl: They're probably just trying to mislead us. Let's check the source. (looks at the Flynn-Fletcher file) Agent P's owners! They must be in league with Doofenshmirtz.
Major Monogram: I don't know, Carl. Sounds a little far-fetched.
Carl: But wait, listen to this. It's a seemingly innocent voice recording of Phineas. (plays the voice recording)
Phineas: (voice recording) Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Carl: But if we play all those syllables backwards in a random order, we get...
Phineas: (voice recording) Let's help Doofenshmirtz d-destroy the Tri-State Area.
Major Monogram: Keep a close eye on those boys. See what else you can find out.

(cut to Monogram talking to Perry)
Perry!
Major Monogram: Agent P, we need you to track down a missing agent. Code name: Agent G. We're not sure of his current location, but we have a few leads placing him in Iceland, Monte Carlo, Burbank, California, and the moon. It's up to you to chase that goose and bring him back to the agency. Good luck, Agent P. Monogram out.

(cuts over to Monogram and Carl)
Carl: So, who is Agent G again?
Major Monogram: Garry the Gander? Oh, that's just a wild-goose chase. Get it? Goose, gander? Heh. Uh, we had to distract Agent P because he's too close to Phineas and Ferb.
Carl: Then who will investigate the boys?
Major Monogram: Hm, we need to send someone in undercover. All the agents are out on their missions. (upbeat theme plays)
Carl: (squeals)

(Song: Carl, Incognito)
Carl!
Dressed as a cheerleader!
Carl!
Now he's wearin' a pinafore!
Carl!
In his pajamas!
Carl!
Now he's a guy from the Civil War!
Dressed as a cowboy or an old steel worker,
And now he's the lead in a '40s tearjerker!
He's Carl!
Incognito!
Major Monogram: Good luck, Agent Carl.
Carl: You can count on me, sir.

(cut to Phineas and Ferb's backyard)
Phineas: Okay. Now where's Perry?

(cut over to Perry)
(dramatic theme playing)

(cut to Phineas and Ferb's backyard)
Phineas: All right, guys, chop-chop. Time to prove Sir Isaac Newton wrong.
Carl: Sir, I've reached the target. Over.
Monogram: Roger that, Carl. Now observe, then infiltrate.
Isabella: Who's that, Phineas?
Phineas: Oh, hey, kid. You wanna help?
Carl: (to Phineas) Me? Sure. (to Monogram) Sir, I've made contact.
Phineas: Hey, thanks. What's your name?
Carl: Uh... (thinking) Say a cool name like Nitro, Dax or Steel. (to Phineas) My name is Carl. (groans)
Phineas: Nice to meet you, Carl. Come and join us in the fun.
Carl: (to Monogram) Sir, I've gained their trust. (to Phineas) So, what kind of scheme is this?
Phineas: We're just having fun challenging universal laws.
Carl: (to Baljeet) So, I hear you're the math genius behind this operation.
Baljeet: Oh, no, no, no. Phineas and Ferb's blueprint was already brilliant. I just made a minor modification.
Carl: Interesting. (to Ferb) So, Ferb, you don't talk much, do you?
Ferb: Actually, I--
Carl: Oh, what's that over there?

(makes a screen transition)
Phineas: Nice job, everyone. It came out perfectly. Who wants to go first?
Isabella: I think our guest should go first.
Carl: Ah, uh, me? (muttering; walks into the Anti Gravity Fun-Launcher)
Phineas: Okay, Ferb, let's see what we can do about that pesky gravitational pull.
Carl: (gets hit with Anti Gravity) Ah! What's happening?
Phineas: Don't worry. It only lasts fifteen minutes. Looks fun though, doesn't it? Let's all go.
Isabella, Baljeet, Carl, and Phineas: (cheering and laughing)
(upbeat theme playing)
Phineas: Coming through.
Carl: So, what exactly is the evil purpose in all of this?
Phineas: Evil? This is just for fun.
Carl: Hey, guys, wait for me.
(Song: When You Levitate)
Bom-bom-bap-bum-ba-ba-da-ba-doo
Bom-bom-bap-bum-ba-ba-da-ba-doo
Bom-bom-bap-bum-ba-ba-da-ba-doo
Bom-bom-bap-bum-ba-ba-da-ba-doo
Carmen Carter: Gravity's not so much a law
as just a mere suggestion
Bass voice: Whether or not you're gonna follow it
is up to your discretion
Carmen Carter: So if you wanna get above the trees
Get ready for some zero G's
Bass voice: And get in line 'cause you know that there's no weight
Carmen Carter: When you levitate
Bass voice: When you levitate
Carmen Carter: When you levitate
Bass voice: I said when you levitate
Carmen Carter: When you levitate
Bass voice: When you levitate
Carmen Carter: When you levitate
Person: Oh!
When you levitate
Candace: Phineas and Ferb floating in midair? Ooh, they are so busted this time. I've gotta find Mom.
(Carl's watch beeping)
Monogram: (on Carl's watch) Carl, status update. Over.
Carl: Sir, I can't. (Ferb ties him up and he floats into midair and screams)

(cut to Major Monogram at O.W.C.A. headquarters)
Major Monogram: Carl? Carl! Oh, no, they must be torturing that poor kid. Don't worry, little unpaid intern, help is on the way.

(cut to Dr. Doofenshmirtz)
Doofenshmirtz: Thanks for bringing this down for me, Norm. For some reason, it runs on solar power.
(sirens wailing)
Police: How many times do I have to tell you: You can't park in a loading zone?
Doofenshmirtz: Well, uh, it's not a vehicle. It's an evil device. You see, this is what I do for a living. (gets a ticket; changes to a shocked face)

(cut to Doofenshmirtz chasing his -inator)
Doofenshmirtz: No, don't! Oh!

(cut to casino)
(suspenseful action theme playing)
(Perry is playing a game with someone else at the casino. He flips over an Agent G card.)
All: (gasp)
Man #1: Gary ze Gander? I know nothing! (sees Perry come over to fight; speaks in foreign language)

(cut to Phineas and Ferb's backyard)
All: (cheering and laughing)
Carl: That was so much fun. Remember when Isabella--?
Major Monogram: (clears his throat)
Phineas: Who's that?
Major Monogram: Uh, hello, son.
Phineas, Ferb, Baljeet, and Isabella: Hi, Carl's dad!
Major Monogram: Hello, children. Carl, uh, your mother and I were worried when you didn't come home. Uh, are you in trouble?
Carl: No, Maj-- Er, Dad. I was just playing with my new friends. Sir, situation neutralized.
Major Monogram: Abort mission. (over radio) I repeat, abort mission.
(helicopters, cars and trucks leave)
Major Monogram: Well, uh, ahem, son, it's time to go home-- and...
Carl: Aw, come on, Dad, can't I just stay for five more minutes?
Major Monogram: No, no, we have to go. Your, uh, mom is making dinner.
Phineas: See you later, Carl. It was a lot of fun. Nice kid. Last one in has to clean up.
All: (cheering)

(cut to Doofenshmirtz chasing his -inator)
Doofenshmirtz: Stop! (panting) Hm. That's an interesting shape. It looks famil-- (steps on a soda can) Aah! (sighs; sees the "Anti-Gravity Fun-Launcher / Anti-Gravity Evil-Launch-Inator) Wait. An anti-gravity evil launch-inator. I found another one. Heh. What are the odds? (turns on his phone) Norm, get down here. I need help.

(cut to the News Station)
Gordon Gutsofanemu: Our next guest is a covert secret agent. We've pixilated his face to conceal his identity. (to Perry) Now, I understand that you're searching for a long-lost colleague. (sees Perry's picture) Oh, you brought a picture. Now, viewers, if you see this agent, call in immediately.
(phone rings nearby; Perry runs away, without his pixilation!) Gordon Gutsofanemu: Well, I guess he found him. Hey, buddy, you forgot your pixilation!

(cut to Phineas and Ferb's backyard)
(Norm takes the Anti-Gravity Fun-Launcher)
(makes a little transition to Doofenshmirtz)
Doofenshmirtz: Norm, you're spectacular. I never knew you could do that.
Norm: Did you know I could also do this?: (turns into a vehicle)
Doofenshmirtz: Really? Wow. I should really read your instruction book.
Norm: Yes, yes you should.
Doofenshmirtz: (drives into the Norm Truck)
Candace: (in the car with Linda) It's about thirty feet tall with electrodes and stuff!
Linda: (flatly) Mm-hm.
Candace: You'll see, I'll just open the gate, and you'll -- (opens the gate) Eek! It's gone!
Linda: (flatly) That's a shocker.

(cut to Doofenshmirtz)
Doofenshmirtz: (laughs) Norm, you've really outdone yourself today.
Norm: Does this mean--?
Doofenshmirtz: Yes, you'll have your icicle-pop stick bride.
Norm: Yay.
(The police catch Doofenshmirtz; siren wailing)
Doofenshmirtz: Uh-oh.
Police officer: You got a license to drive a robot with more than two axles?
Doofenshmirtz: Uh, um, uh...
Police officer: That's what I thought. Okay, Charley, pull her up.
Doofenshmirtz: Curse you, motor vehicle code! (he gets towed away)

(cut to O.W.C.A. headquarters)
Major Monogram: I'm very proud of you, Carl. But my feelings for you can be better expressed in your evaluation.
Carl: All gold stars!
(building crashing)
Major Monogram: Oh, there you are, Agent P. Sorry about the wild-goose chase. You were just too close to this case. But don't feel bad. No one could ever find Agent G. He's been missing for far, far too long. (Perry pulls out Agent G) What the--? Agent G. On an extremely extended vacation, hm? Well, Agent P deserves a vacation more than you do. He deserves one, but unfortunately, evil never rests. So, we'll see you tomorrow. Well, this is getting a little awkward. Carl, my arm's getting tired and he won't salute back.

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