“We're Fireside Girls, one and all
And together we belong.
We wear our patches upon our sashes,
And stand cute, small, and strong.
This is the Fireside Girls song...
And it's not too terribly long!”

Hello loyal readers, who don't seem to comment anymore if you even read anymore at all and welcome to the Blog of Bob. I'm sure your all familiar with the names Isabella, Milly, Katie, Holly, Adyson, Gretchen and Ginger: Seven little girls, simple as that, at times they seem to exist for no purpose greater than helping Phineas Flynn and Ferb Fletcher with their daily activity. Good Samaritans some might say, but perhaps their not as altruistic as their diminutive appearances may suggest.

However during our brief glimpses into their personalities we see a far different side, hidden from the populace of Danville, one witnesses the true evil nature of this coalition of “Girl Scouts”. A term I must use loosely because quite frankly their attempts to act like either little girls or scouts is met with astounding failure.

Let us start with their theme song, which I included at the beginning of this essay. Not only does that sound quite a bit like a cultist view, “Together we belong” but they are vain enough to talk about their physical perceived adorability, and also freely admit their individual strength relative to their stature may in fact be misleading.

Next we shall focus on their cupcakes, the apparent life blood of this organization. As evidenced by Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz the Fireside Girls use their aforementioned adorability to sell these confectionary curiosities to the Greater Tri-State Area. Doofenshmirtz an evil genius in his own right is incapable of resisting the alluring powers of a Fireside Girl (specifically Katie, Milly and Gretchen) pleading eyes.

Finally we shall focus on their individual personalities. Yes all the girls are superficially sweet and caring around other people, but when left of their own devices they quickly turn on one another as evidenced by Katie and Milly’s refusal to acknowledge the growing feelings of their “sister” Ginger, perhaps afraid that if she does find love she will be swayed away from their soul crushing mission.

Gingers continued humanity shown both in that instance and the fact that she was required to rub her eyes due to soreness implies she has not been amongst the Fireside girls for long, perhaps their most recent inductee before Candace’s brief tenure. You see it is my hypothesis that the Fireside Girls of troop 46231 are not in fact a small group of female pre-adolescents looking for acceptance through perseverance but rather a dark organization slowly corrupting the innocent.

Anywhoodles enjoy your day and watch out for those eyes

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